I am a huge fan of the late Douglas Adams and his very amusing book The Hitch Hikers Guide to The Universe. Until yesterday I thought it was Sci Fi.

Yesterday Won Fang

and I met the Mutant Star Goat. What is a Mutant Star Goat? As Douglas Adams explains:

The Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B was a way of removing the basically useless citizens from the planet of Golgafrincham. A variety of stories were formed about the doom of the planet, such as blowing up, crashing into the sun or being eaten by a mutant star goat. The ship was filled with all the middlemen of Golgafrincham, such as the telephone sanitisers, account executives, hairdressers, tired TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives and management consultants.

Won Fang was minding his own business, (that means he was fast asleep)!

He suddenly woke up and was woofing up a storm. What could it possibly be? A big scruffy Billy Goat was hiding in the trees at the bottom of the yard. The goat stood his ground and got bolder.

For a while the Mutant Star Goat was a hit with the neighbors, was it my goat they asked. Hell no, I replied.

After a couple of hours of ‘Goat Standoff’ it became clear that the Goat was pissed off at Won Fang. The attack was swift, Won Fang sidestepped the charge and his bucket of water and food bowl took the brunt of the attack.

I told the goat to piss off, that clearly annoyed him, he head butted the deck twice and just stood there staring at me through the fence slats.

I grabbed the nearest weapon, a shovel, and ,and whacked him on the head with it. It hurt me far more than the goat, it was like slamming a shovel against a large rock!

Jan called the police and while they did not deal with Mutant Star Goats they would inform Animal Control. 24 hours later we are still waiting for them to show up. My guess is that they have already met the Mutant Star Goat and had no interest in a rematch.

A young friend of the family turned up and asked “Whats with the goat”? I explained the problem and offered to remove the beast.

It was entertaining, but I suspect there is an art to Goat Roping.

The good news is that the Mutant Star Goat took off in a huff and has not been seen since

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