The TV is on in our house every waking moment of the day. The schedule is pretty much cast in stone. Monday through Friday I get the 6am to 9am slot, and I watch CNN. Although I will be honest with you, the more I watch, the less I like. Over the past 10 years they have become more and more agenda driven. Hell I get accused of BNN being agenda driven, we are nothing when compared to CNN!

At 9am sharp I lose control of the TV, the room is filled with the dulcet tones of Jerry Springer. After 5 minutes of pole dancing midgets, transvestite sumo wrestlers, and toothless hookers I generally head outside to sit and read.

Could you imagine the Cummings, Croslin, and Anthony family on Jerry?

Jerry Springer: Ron, some people are claiming that you are a dysfunctional family, what do you say?

Ron Cummings
: Uhh, the nice lady with the big boobs in the green room last night, and they were whoppers, told me that you would only ask easy questions. Like Ms Nancy does. What does dys-whatever mean?

Ok, lets move on to Misty, Misty welcome to the program, what can you tell us about doing laundry?

Misty: Well I do it regular like. Every February 10th I wash. Course I don’t have no soap, Ron’s too cheap to buy it, but I put everything in the washer and drier and just pretend. In fact I was so tired after putting all the dirty clothes in that I needed a little nap.

Oh by the way Jerry, Ron and I just want to thank you for paying the Motel  6 bill last night, and if they call you, it wasn’t us that stole the sheets and towels out of the room.

Lets move on to the Anthony Family. George and Cindy, your daughter Casey sits in jail accused of murdering Caylee Anthony. What are you doing to help?

Cindy: Well Jerry, we have set up more foundations than you can shake a stick at, we have the  best ambulance chasing legal team ever assembled, we are pretty confident that we can pin the murder on someone else. Oh and George used to be in the cop biz, so he knows a person or two.

George: Thats right! All the evidence against my daughter Casey is BS. We employed some of the best people in the business, we have the Milsteads, and their T-shirt sales are going well. Of course we have the minor issue of the forged checks, but I have confidence in Jose Bozo Baez, he will find a way to make that problem go away.

I tend to avoid the TV until 6pm, once again I have some ownership, generally it is HLN, I like to see just how far behind the news they actually are. It is always hours, and more normally days!

I read two books today, I enjoyed both of them. And it was about 2pm that I headed back in to house. I guess even Jan had had enough of the talk shows and Soap operas, one station was running a Rocky marathon. I sat on the couch and watched for hours. Rocky is silly, but it is so much better than living with the realities of these cases. Rocky rocks! On the other hand, the Croslin’s, Anthony’s and Cummings all make me reach for the bottle of Tums!

Simon Barrett

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