Who can pass up as tempting a news canapé as Iran’s beady-eyed slip of a President announcing “We Don’t Have Homosexuals Like In Your Country”?

Okay, maybe one or three bloggers out of a zillion wouldn’t be tempted, but that wouldn’t be me on a Tuesday in paradise, especially when this bit of banal blather pops up right after a read about the little git going on about the Holocaust being iffy and 9/11 deserved.

I will not, however, take issue with his pronouncement.

Heck! I’ve never set one foot in a Tehran Boy Bootie Bar, so what do I know for Persian Poofs?

He does invite speculation, though, doesn’t he? So, feel free to chime in any time with your own answers to the question Ahmadinejad begs:

“What sort of homosexuals DO you have in Iran, then, Mr. President?”

I’m starting off with a guess that theirs are more likely to have facial hair, much like ours did in, say, the ’70’s when everyone wanted Freddy Mercury’s top lip hair. The style’s gone stale here, but they’re big on bristles in the Middle East.

Cross-dressing is probably not as big a turn-on for Middle Eastern gay men in general, perhaps except for the chubby guys. After all, black IS more slimming than white.

I doubt that ‘outing’ is a big deal, either, since I understand that bum bumping with boys isn’t considered ‘homosexual activity’ — more a right of passage … so to speak. It’s not like repeated dips in the jeans pool is going to have anyone thinking you’re hiding something.

Could be that more Farsi Fags are married, and to more than one woman at a time even, and since unlike American wives the gals aren’t likely to be tracking their hubbies down at dinner time and dragging their sorry butts home for their meat and two veg and quality family time with the kids, their time, and their company, is their own. Hanging out with the boys day and night, night and day, is de rigueur, and what goes on between the buddies is no business of the biddies, so riding both the horse and the cow gets brownie points without the farm making the front page.

There are no TV programs in Iran where high-stylin’ dandies groom scruffy yobs into presentability, but that may be a programming thing. I’ve not heard of “Iranian Idol” either.

My imagination on the topic is limited by the fact that I’m neither homosexual nor Iranian, and I have to admit I’d not given this one thought until provoked into contemplation, so I’m hoping Ahmadinejad will be more specific in his next speech … maybe he can fit some description in between condemnation and calumniation?

It wouldn’t hurt his image one little bit, and inquiring minds are dying to know.

Sandra Hanks Benoiton writes the Adoption News Blog and on International Adoption and adopting as an Older Parent for Adoption.com, and on everything under the sun on Paradise Preoccupied from her sun-drenched veranda on the island of Mahé in the Indian Ocean.

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