In a rare gesture of heart-felt support, heavily-armed US military personnel stationed in Germany have voluntarily united with citizens of their hosting country in their hysterical opposition to EU calls for a speed limit on the autobahn. And many are ready to use military force if necessary.

“Huh?” said one soldier stationed in Grafenwöhr. “Why even come to Germany if you can’t buy a German car and do 140 (mph) on the autobahn anymore? I mean, we all know that with troop reductions and all, our presence here in Germany is going nowhere. But hell, man, we still want to go nowhere fast.”

“And besides,” another soldier said. “Despite the high speeds, German highways are a whole lot safer than the ones back home. Hardly anybody is armed over here and I’ve only been shot at twice.”

Unfortunately for the soldiers involved, their commanding officers are still quite reluctant to openly support German insurgents involved in the growing anti-speed limit “movement” and are still carefully analyzing the situation. Many of the young combatants fear that their marching orders for Brussels may come too late, or possibly not at all.

But all hope has not been lost as small groups of liaison officers from The German Association of the Automotive Industry, which represents an industry that includes such famous names as Volkswagen, BMW, Porsche and DaimlerChrysler, have been regularly sighted meeting with American rapid deployment experts in Heidelberg.

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