by Ric Ottaiano

October 5, 2006

RO: I’m here today with Sheik Abdullah Mohammed-Mohammed al Caboom Mohammed, the grand mufti of Brooklyn and imam of the Brighton Beach mosque. Thank you for being here with me today on Radio Hounds!, Sheik.

SAMMCM: My pleasure, Ric. I thank the Prophet, peace be upon him, for this opportunity.

RO: Sheik, our time is limited so let me get right to it. Many people seem to believe that Islam actually encourages violence against non-believers. How do you respond to that?

SAMMCM: May these lie spewing infidels roast on the barbecue spit of Allah!! Well, Ric, I’d say that this is a misconception that has been perpetuated by the West.

RO: I’m sorry, Sheik, but I didn’t get that first part. Was that Arabic? Anyway, how can you say that in light of many of the passages in the Quran calling for “slaying of the infidel where he stands” and the like?

SAMMCM: The spawn of monkeys and pigs, and the desecrators of the word of the Prophet, peace be upon him, the blood sucking Jewish race, must be driven back to the depths from whence they came!! It seems to me, my friend, that these passages are being purposefully mis-stated.

RO: Again, Sheik, I didn’t quite get the part in Arabic. Theo van Gogh was brutally murdered in the streets of Amsterdam and a message of hate stuck to his bleeding body with a dagger, all for supposedly “desecrating” the name of the prophet. Isn’t this sort of over-reaction by Muslims justifying what you call stereotyping?

SAMMCM: May the soldiers of Allah avenge the prophet’s name, (peace be upon him) and tear out the tongues of the infidels wherever they stand!! Islam is a peaceful religion, and Muslims only want peace. Do not equate all Muslims with the work of one lunatic, Ric.

RO: I’m so sorry Sheik, I missed that first part again, but with all respect, it was more than a lunatic or two that took to the streets during the controversy over the Mohammed cartoons.

SAMMCM: All powerful Allah, bring your rain of death and destruction to the Great Satan America and all of its minions!! Again, you paint with too broad a brush my friend. Muslims are no different than Christians when it comes to what they wish from life.

RO: I still didn’t understand…never mind. Well, it seems that in every Muslim country women are treated as second class citizens, almost as chattel, lacking some of the most fundamental human rights. How does that square with what you’ve said in the past about women being revered in Islam?

SAMMCM: I call upon the armies of the prophet, peace be upon him, to descend upon this wretched infidel worm and disembowel him and each member of his family before beheading them in the name of Allah!! Ric, it is you who is narrow-minded and parochial when you suggest that the only valid values are those of the West.

RO: You seemed a bit agitated there for a moment, Sheik. A glass of water perhaps? We seem to be running out of time so one last question: If you could say one thing on behalf of Muslims world-wide to all of us non-Muslims, what would it be?

SAMMCM: May the mighty and all merciful Allah and his prophet, peace be upon him, excercise their overwhelming power to exhort all of the Muslim people to rise up and crush the infidel dogs where they sleep sparing not one man, nor woman nor child, and hurl their desecrated remains upon the burning pyres of Islam to exact the excruciatingly painful retribution called for by the very words of Allah that shall last for all eternity. Well, Ric, allow me to quote one of your greatest statesmen and advocates of peaceful coexistence: “Can’t we all just get along?”

RO: Well, thank you Sheik Abdullah Mohammed-Mohammed al Caboom Mohammed for spending a few minutes with us here at Radio Hounds!

[This article can also be found at Release The Hounds!]

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