News Item:
New Jersey no-no’s at the beach

The first big weekend of the summer has come and gone.  If the weather in your neck of the woods was nice, chances are you were outdoors.  If you live in the Philadelphia / South Jersey area, you may have gone ‘Down the Shore’.  That means you went to the beach, for those who don’t live here.

Some things you used to do, you couldn’t do at the shore this weekend.  The kiddies couldn’t dig in the sand at Long Beach.  Seems when they pumped sand from the ocean floor recently, to replenish what was lost through beach erosion, the beach became littered with a slew of World War I type munitions.  Quite a bit of work went into removing the mortar rounds and artillary shells, but Long Beach couldn’t guarantee that they got everything.  It was assumed though that the top 12 inches of sand were clear, so you could open the beach chairs, spread out the blankets, and relax.  True, the kids had to leave the buckets and shovels at home, and you had to poke that umbrella pole into the sand somewhat gingerly, but hey, it’s summer, who wants to stay home just because some rusted old piece of metal might go boom.

Elsewhere along the shore, at Ocean City for example, it’s against the law to feed the seagulls.  We wonder if the town fathers realize that these are Jersey Gulls, that don’t really wait for an invitation.  Just ask anyone who’s tried to eat french fries on the boardwalk.  The gulls swoop and snatch them right from the cup.  You didn’t intentionally feed them, but the result is, they ate.  Does that make you an accessory before the fact?

In Belmar, you can’t draw dirty pictures in the sand, but isn’t sand really a kind of dirt?  Guess they’re talking about ‘erotic art’.  You can’t smoke on the beach there, or gamble, or curse, and changing clothes is something you should have done at home.

Brigantine likes it quiet, very, very quiet.  The like to hear the breeze rustle through the dunes.  The law there stipulates that if you’re going to revel, disport, or behave in an annoying boistrous manner, emitting loud cries, you’re going to get busted.  The world’s quietest beach volley ball games are probably played in Brigantine.

Sea Bright doesn’t want any visitors who are sick, or have been within the past week or so.  If you are experiencing or recovering from diarrhea, or have had any signs of gastrointestinal disease, go back home and swim in your own pool, or your neighbors, if you don’t like them.

Wildwood is the golden child of Mother Nature, it seems, when it comes to beaches.  Every year, towns to the north lose beachfront to storms, and that sand all winds up on Wildwoods shores.  Their beaches, on average, are 1/4 of a mile wide.  Along some stretches, it’s 1/2 a mile to the water, and that is no exaggeration.  Traversing the expanse from the boardwalk to the surf can feel like crossing the Sahara, especially when lugging all the stuff people take to the beach with them.  A couple of years back, an enterprising businessman, wanted to rent camels to folks [seriously] to get them across.  Wildwood now has an anti-camel law on the books.

News Source: CNN

Cartoon from Sid in the City

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