When Saddam was pulled out of his spider-hole, his hair and beard were grey and straggley.

Not a photo that would make it in Vogue or GQ.

But later, at his trial, Saddam was back to his usual sartorial elegance, his hair neatly combed and no longer showing a touch of grey.

Was it real, or Miss Clairol? Only his hairdresser knew for sure.

But now the puzzle is solved.

One of today’s BBC headlines shouted:

Saddam’s US jailer goes on trial

The first thing one thinks of is that one of Saddam’s jailers accidentally applied his taser to the more delicate parts of the dictator.

But no, the secondary headline says:

A US serviceman who was in charge of the detention of ex-Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein has gone on trial by court martial accused of aiding the enemy. Lt-Col William Steele is standing trial in Baghdad on a total of seven counts and could face a life sentence.

This is even more shocking. What kind of traitor would help a murderous dictator?

Ah, but down in the article is the shocking details:

During pre-trial hearings the soldier was also accused of supplying Cuban cigars and hair dye to the former Iraqi leader.


The mystery is solved.

That’s who gave the evil dictator hair dye.

Not only hair dye, but Cuban cigars.

Send that guy to jail for life.

Actually, the LtCol is mainly accused of letting prisoners use his cellphone to call home. Presumably, someone was listening in to make sure the prisoner was telling his mom that he was okay, and not telling his terrorist friends where to plant the IED’s…but like Lynn Stewart found, trusting terrorisits is a no no…because even “innocuous” messages might have a double meaning.

But one hopes the soft hearted Lt Col. will be given a break, since his actions were done out of the kindness of his heart.

And for the rest of us, the question of Hussein is now settled. He indeed dyed his hair.

Now, if we could only find who supplied a similar hairdye to Osama

Nancy Reyes is a retired physician living in the rural Philippines. Her website is Finest Kind Clinic and Fishmarket. 

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