The state funded ABC (Australia Broadcasting Corporation) needs to check their website, because under their “Planet Slayer” page for kids one can find a game for kids.

Big deal. Except, oh my!:

Get the dirt on greenhouse without the guilt trips. No lectures. No multinational-bashing (well, maybe a little…). Just fun and games and the answers to all your enviro-dilemas.

Watch Greena, the Worrier Princess in action!

Use our greenhouse calculator to find out when you should die!

Yup. Find out when you should die.

photo AustraliaBroadcastingCorp.

When you do the quiz, it shows three pigs, little (good carbon negative) pig, Big (average Australian) pig, and you are the middle pig.

I did the quiz, and the pig exploded into blood at the end, and I was told I should have died at age 7.5 years.

Bummer. Must be because we own a large house/business center and have only one “Gaia friendly” car: The other vehicles are gas guzzling trucks and jeeps that we need to travel to our farm on muddy roads.

Guess to “save Gaia” we need to go back to waterbuffalo drawn carts.

So much for the “no guilt” claim.

I grew up before Vatican II, and one of the good things about the council is that they threw out the thousands of trivial “sins” that we kids had to learn in catechism class.

But with the Gaia religion, we see the return of the wrath of Goddess Gaia against those who accidentally use energy.

Leaving a fluorescent light on when you go out doesn’t save energy – switch off if you’re leaving for more than a few minutes.

Leaving a fluorescent light on when you go out doesn’t save energy – switch off if you’re leaving for more than a few minutes.

For each unit of electricity we use, two units of energy are wasted as heat loss from the power station!

On a hot summer day, the heat coming through an unshaded window (1 metre square) is about the same as you’d get from switching on a single bar radiator! Curtains cut the heat by around 80%.

A household that dries all its clothes in an electric clothes drier generates over a tonne of greenhouse gas each year. That’s as much as you’d produce driving a small car from Sydney to Cairns and back!

The electricity to run the little clocks and lights on your VCR and microwave in Standby mode account for an eighth of all household energy-related greenhouse gas emissions! That’s about the same that it takes to run your fridge! Turn off non-essential appliances at the wall, or buy products with low standby power use.

OK, kids. You are sinners.

But if you say three Hail Mary’s and say an act of contrition for the sin of a VCR clock… whoops, wrong religion…how exactly do you “make up” for your carbon use in the religion of Gaia?

Remember those stories that “cold showers” made you manly, well, now we’re told:

Showering with electrically heated water generates about half a kilogram of greenhouse gas every minute.

So take three cold showers, wash your clothing in cold water (by hand) and hang them out to dry as penance.

And remember: You need to die to save the planet. Look at all that greenhouse gas you are exhaling all the time.


(thanks for the headsup MoonbatteryBlog)

Nancy Reyes is a retired physician living in the rural Philippines. Her website is Finest Kind Clinic and Fishmarket.

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