Recent articles in the “New York Times†by Shayla McKnight, in the “Harvard Business Blogs†by Cheryl Dolan and Faith Oliver, and in “Stumble Upon†have focused on the harm done by workplace “gossip girls,†“mean girls†and on the difficulty in stopping these bullies. However, some academics have even made a case for the benefits of gossip at work.
Although men also engage in gossip at work, the typical image of harassment and bullying with gossip involves grown up mean girls using the same tactics they perfected in middle and high school.
Gossip is part of a pattern of negativity, verbal abuse, sabotage, rumor mongering, exclusion, back-stabbing, public ridicule, “catfights,†arguments, vendettas, disrespect, cutting out and forming warring cliques, crowds or mobs that wreaks havoc on previously productive teams. Conflict and stress, and turnover and sick leave increase, while morale and productivity are destroyed. These tactics lead to hostile workplace and discrimination suits against companies that don’t actively recognize and remove stealthy gossip girls, their supporters and managers who tolerate the bullying.
Although gossip, harassment and bullying by mean girls are scourges at work, they can be stopped.
Of course there are people for whom gossip is a way of life. They can’t imagine living without talking about other people. But if you want to maximize productivity of your team or company, you’ll have to stop these people, as well as the hardened climbers who use gossip to gain power and turf, or who simply like inflicting pain on their victims.
The key to stopping these hostile behaviors is team agreements:
- Ban the practices – have clearly stated company policies and procedures.
- Publicize the no-gossip policy during interviews and new-employee orientation.
- Track behavior as part of evaluations that count.
- Involve the whole team, as well as managers, to hold one another accountable.
- Remove people who insist on their own destructive behavioral code.
Make the overall tone at work be “We have more important things to talk about than gossip.â€
Obviously, the burden falls on owners and leaders. They set the tone. If they’re the gossip girls or boys, you won’t be able to change their company.
But owners and leaders can’t do it themselves. They must involve and enroll all the employees. They must promote and keep only those who actively support the effort to create better attitudes and behavior.
Sometimes the voices of an outside expert and company lawyers are necessary to guide the process. But ultimately, leaders and employees must take charge of creating an environment where they can thrive without having to look over their shoulders with the same kind of anxiety and fear they had in middle of high school.
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Resources Cited: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/15/jobs/15pre.html?_r=1&8dpc and http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/cs/2009/10/how_to_stop_mean_girls_in_the.html
Ben Leichtling, Ph.D. is author of the books and CDs “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks,†“Parenting Bully-Proof Kids†and “Eliminate the High cost of Low Attitudes.†He is available for coaching, consulting and speaking. To find practical, real-world tactics to stop bullies and bullying at home, school, work and in relationships, see his web site (http://www.BulliesBeGone.com) and blog (http://www.BulliesBeGoneBlog.com).
3 users commented in " Stop Bullying, Harassment and Abuse by Gossip Girls at Work "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackBen, I wrote several articles a few years ago in our local paper. They were one of the few article series that generated a lot of attention. People are bullied and some don’t even recognize it. This is such a huge problem. You pegged it when you said with the owners/managers (and I might add Presidents) are the bullies and gossipmongers, you can’t change the company. Been a victim more than once. What a horrendous experience! Please follow-up with an article on how to deal with it when you are on the receiving end. I tried to deal with it in black and white, hard evidence and real proof. Guess what? It didn’t make one whit of difference to the entire Board of Directors. Now, that is a hugely sad case. Not whining, mind you, just stating facts.
Hi Gina,
Yes, I will write more on it.
In the cases you mentioned – leaders and owners are bullies – often, even hard evidence won’t change them. Only well-documented, winnable legal suits can make a difference. Money talks.
Good luck and keep looking for a company that has a great culture.
If you’re a boss wanting to create a great culture, listen to the CD set, “How to Eliminate the High Cost of Low Attitudes.”
Best wishes,
Ben
I am a senor citizen. I work with other senors. the worst offenders of gossip are the men and the younger women. The small office staff (four persons) foster the environment of gossip. They make disparaging remarks about the workers to each other and to the workers. This results in a hostile work place. I’ve brought this to the attention of the supervisor and the office manager. They look at me as a pain in the posterior.
There is a young women (48) who has targeted me. She wants me gone. I saw her stealing from my bag. I reported this. The women threw such a fit that I wound up getting chewed out. I am not going to quit, jobs for people my age do not grow on trees. The doc has prescribed xanax.
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