After trouncing the Brazilian girls all upside the head in Shanghai to become the first women’s team ever to claim consecutive World Cup championship titles, a virile and two-fisted German women’s national soccer team, drunk with victory and alcohol and high on testosterone and who the hell knows what else – and thoroughly angered by what they perceived to be a complete lack of Anerkennung (recognition) back home in Germany – went on a wild rampage and began beating the crap out of any men who accidentally got in their way, destroyed their hotel rooms, robbed two liquor stores and a gas station on the way to the airport, and hijacked a 747 that had been waiting there to take them back home in the first place.

After busting in through the plane’s main entrance door which was already wide open, the drunken women immediately subjected the plane’s all male crew to verbal abuse, manhandled them, and then ordered them to fly the aircraft back to Germany, which they promptly did. The wussies.

“We worked good man versus man,” said German coach Silvia Neid later, somewhere over China, radioing in from the cockpit. “They usually put up more of a fight, you know? And, oh yeah, sure. We played some damned good soccer, too. Gimme another beer, punk.”

Frankfurt officials, warned of the approaching danger and prepared to do anything to bring the embarrassing incident to a peaceful end, quickly hired several thousand fans to stage an enthusiastic welcome for the strapping young women once they swaggered into town. This finally calmed them down a bit. Then they passed out.

Not a word of this can be confirmed, of course. No one close to the women is willing to talk yet. But don’t forget that the first step in the prevention of violent domestic or international outbreaks like this is to break the silence. Don’t cower in the corner. Go to your telephone and get help now.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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