American cultural hegemony has gotten so out of hand on German television these days that there is only one German-made TV series left on private television to watch during primetime: A show about autobahn cops on RTL called Alarm für Cobra 11. Now this is alarming. That this show is the one that somehow managed to survive, I mean. I have to admit that although I haven’t actually watched the program, I maintain that I don’t have to in order to know that it is totally rancid and horrible and billig (cheap) beyond belief. I’ve seen the other shows like it in the past, you see.

Certain German politicians are now so alarmed about Alarm für Cobra 11 and co.’s plight that they are suggesting the introduction of a quota for foreign (meaning American) TV series allowed to be shown in Germany. That a whole lot of American series you can watch here now are also totally rancid and horrible but teuer (expensive) doesn’t seem to bother these guys that much, they just want the Germans to watch their own crappy TV instead. And I can only agree with these folks, I think. I’m all for saving German television, too. This is because I haven’t been able to figure out yet what German television actually is and I want to understand this before it disappears for good.

You see, the few German-made series you can still find out there are already unabashed copies of the American series these guys now want to ban. And that a lot of these American shows the Germans are so cheaply imitating are also cheap imitations of other American shows before them only makes this all the more confusing. And to top it off, and add insult to injury, the Germans even pay for all of this nonsense with their silly TV licensing fees. Okay, this money is primarily intended for the public channels which don’t air these shows, but they are nevertheless paying into a system that broadcasts commercially produced programs they obviously prefer watching. They get to pay twice, in other words. And they have to pay here, whether they watch the public channels or not.

So if you run across anybody at your local German mall one of these days collecting signatures for Alarm für Cobra 11, don’t hesitate to do your patriotic duty and sign it – or run away as fast as you can.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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