IMPORTANT NEWS FLASHES: We have a very disturbing report from the Islamic Front. It seems two of our national icons have really done it this time.

They’ve really ticked off Mo.

Britney Spears and Madonna have been threatened with forcible Islamic conversion and, if that doesn’t work, death. The hate-slinging comes courtesy of Muhammad Abdel-Al, mouthpiece and senior leader of the Popular Resistance Committees, a militant Palestinian organization that reps the Gaza Strip. According to a new book, Schmoozing With Terrorists, Mo promises that, “if these two prostitutes keep doing what they will do, we of course will punish them…We can stone them and even we can kill them.” He’s also quoted as having proclaimed:

“If I meet these whores I will have the honor – I repeat, I will have the honor – to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they will keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam.“

Better put on those burkas, ladies!

Meanwhile Germany can’t quite understand the connection between training for terrorism and actually committing terrorist acts and whether they should do something about it. So, they navel-gaze.

BERLIN –German state security officials urged the government Friday make training at a terror camp a crime, following a foiled bomb plot by alleged Islamic radicals believed to have undergone paramilitary training in Pakistan.

You think so? How novel! Who would have thunk it!

Justice Minister Brigitte Zypries told ARD television that her ministry was working “very intensively” on proposed legislation that would make it a crime to attend a terror camp.

Croaked the appeasers:

“The demand to make attending so-called terror camps a criminal offense is populist nonsense,” said Ulla Jelpke, a lawmaker with the opposition Left party.

“With this, not just the investigation but the punishment itself is moved far ahead of any concrete action that constitutes a concrete attack on the life and limb of others. That is incompatible with a state of law.”

Hey dimwit! How about treason?

Ah! But not all is lost in the Deucher Republic. Gates of Vienna reports that a certain organization calling itself an “Anonymous group for democratic and free thinking” will not sit back and let certain religious systems undermine the European idea of “unity in variety”. They’ve veiled statues throughout Germany with burkas as a sign of protest.

On the 18 September 2007, several female statues and sculptures in the cities of Berlin, Braunschweig, Bremen, Hamburg, Cologne, Witten, and Wuppertal are veiled with a Burka and a headscarf.

The aim of this campaign is to point out that the European idea of “unity in variety” is valid in Germany and that democratic and liberal as well as secular thinking is one of the most precious values that is to be protected and to be advocated for.

In a religious system that promotes totalitarian ideas and demands submission of individuals, such an achievement can easily get under pressure. Therefore, there should be a public discussion on whether the European vocabulary and the vocabulary of certain religious systems share a common basis. For instance, the “house of peace” and the “house of war” have a different meaning in Islam and in our understanding. According to the Islamic view, the “house of peace” can only exist where Islam reigns.

You can view the pictures of the veiled statues here.

And now – DRUM ROLL PLEASE – we hear from that great moralist himself – the President of Iran.

TEHRAN (IRNA) — President Mahmud Ahmadinejad strongly condemned recent terrorist attacks in Algeria on Tuesday, saying that murdering defenseless people is “”unacceptable.””

Unless of course, they’re Jews.

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