I always enjoy those conversations where you sit around and talk about what superpower would be the best to have. Only perverts choose invisibility and everyone else ends up choosing flight. I’m not sure what I would choose, but there’s a new movie out which certainly makes the case for a different choice.
Starting this June 10th, now available on DVD from 20th Century Fox comes the latest vision of fantastic powers and a struggle between good and evil. Jumper leaps into your home entertainment system with a vengeance. Bring home this tale of science and magic today!
Hayden Christiansen stars as a Jumper, someone who is able to teleport through space. He discovers this at an early age after nearly drowning trying to be nice to Rachel Bilson’s character. He then runs away from home and takes to robbing banks with his jumping ability. But there are a group of people, Paladins, led by Samuel L. Jackson, who are doing their best to destroy the Jumpers, based mainly on some strange religious motivation. So Hayden grabs Rachel and they go on a tour of the world and discover another Jumper. Then plans get complex and the Paladins start their trail of destruction. What happens next might be exciting, but due to poor acting and worse writing, it’s a lackluster snooze fest.
The special features included in this DVD are a look at the making of the film, a look into the book which created the idea for the movie, and a selection of trailers.
Hayden Christiansen is a terrible actor. Samuel L. Jackson is a sort of film slut, just giving it up to whatever script comes along. Does the man even have an agent? If so, what are the guidelines for the roles he will or will not accept? Rachel Bilson is not that attractive and certainly isn’t a good actor. The other Jumper smashingly outshines every other performer, but even he can’t save this cinematic Titanic from going down. It could have been an incredible movie. The writing was awful. They took what certainly looked like a great idea and destroyed it with the insertion of a love story. It was like Pearl Harbor all over again. The worst part is that this film would have benefited from having Michael Bay at the helm.
Not even the police should try to save this Jumper.
This DVD is available at Amazon.com.
3 users commented in " Movie Review: Jumper "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackJust saw this and was very disspointed. If one is going to redo the old TV show SLIDER then one better do a heck of a better job with it. the love story angle didn’t bother me. Bad acting, weak plot, and even worse dialogue did.
They failed. Period.
Jumper
Movie Review by Ozer Khalid
Premature verbal ejaculations proclaiming that this movie was a mélange of The Matrix meets The Bourne trilogy were orchestrated by miscreant misfits who themselves were probably high on a mix of acid meets ecstasy tablets. This tacky take of teleportation in touristically trapped twists and turns is at best a second-hand hankering special-effects reel. Realistically it is a 1 hour 28 minute tasteless time-waster.
A talentless Star Wars cast does little to salvage the temptation to tear your lungs shouting out in despair to exit cinema halls. Formulaic trappings by Director Doug Liman terrorizingly torture our tautest of reality checks, doing his best to defile and debase the flavourful allure of Stephen Gould’s original tome etched to paper in 2002.
The formulaic trappings of trying to procreate, and in the process bastardizing, cheaply borrowed original concepts from far-better flicks such as The Matrix, The Bourne Identity, Twin Peaks, Supernatural and Sliders whilst clumsily mixing and mashing them into a misadventurous make-believe sci-fi magpie of moviedom is cinematic fallacy.
Hayden Christensen’s palpably plastic performance could not have been worse. The globe-trotting jet-setting party man is more true to character as a shallow pretentious conceited escapist in the trailer.
Adding insult to injury are the underlying pseudo religio-political undertones pitting the frenzied fanaticism of the `Paladins` versus the `Jumpers`. Monotonous sermonizing about childhood bullies, disjointed families and parental alienation are to be given as frosty a reception as Samuel Jackson’s frosty snow white hair.
The only part of the movie that spread a smile across my face, cheek to cheek (the facial ones) was when Christensen gives a refreshingly new take to the `banking profession`. Myself being a part of the profession the hint of irony did not go amiss.
What did however were the empty roles and even emptier rhetoric.
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