After a rousing speech in which German Chancellor Angela Merkel openly threatened Iran with further sanctions should that country not put a lid on its nuclear program, UN dignitaries were stunned when nobody offered her a permanent place to sit in the Security Council.

“Like what is that?” asked a dumbfounded delegate from Panama. “This is her first speech here and everything and nobody even bothers to offer the lady a place to sit? Hopping around like that from one temporarily vacant seat to another is totally demeaning and degrading and ungentlemanly-like of us or something. Although it is also sort of funny, if you think about it. In a way, I mean. But I am like so ashamed.”

A representative from the Japanese delegation begged to differ, however, pointing out that the seating protocol at the United Nations has never been properly settled and that the whole arrangement is still pretty much a first come first serve kind of setup.

Although many here, the Germans included, believe that a Security Council expansion which might include a permanent seat for Germany is “unavoidable” in the long term, others feel the Germans ought to stop moaning and just grab a seat early in the morning like the way they do when they hog the beach chairs while on vacation, die Heulsusen (the cry babies).

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