In his recent MSNBC commentary Katy Perry and the media’s ‘Kiss’ of hypocrisy (7/22/08), Tony Sclafani examines the controversy over what he calls “two gay-unfriendly songs by newcomer Katy Perry: ‘Ur So Gay’ and ‘I Kissed a Girl’.”
While I have often condemned societal prejudice against gays and lesbians, in this case the anti-gay bigotry which gay advocates claim to see seems a lot more like anti-male sentiment to me. Sclafani writes:
Well, it’s official. It’s cool to make fun of gay people again.
How do we know? Because the folks in Medialand told us as much by relentlessly cheerleading two gay-unfriendly songs by newcomer Katy Perry: “Ur So Gay†and “I Kissed a Girl.â€
The first derides an emo guy with a barrage of gay stereotypes that were cliché even in Boy George’s heyday. The second addresses same-sex kissing (and, by extension, bisexuality) by putting forth the judgment that such a smooch is “not what, good girls do… not how they should behave.â€
Yet Sclafani seems to be of two minds about it a little. On one hand, he approvingly quotes comments from unhappy gays. On the other, he cites one of my blog posts on negative depictions of men in the media, and links the Katy Perry issue to “the popular trend of male bashing.”
The central issue in the article is Perry’s song ‘Ur So Gay’. In it, she sings:
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive
(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…
You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull em’ down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would get a clue that its
not all about you
The video for the song can be seen here. Sclafani and the gay press are correct that the song contains gay stereotypes. However, I think what the song really does is mock and shame the man for not being “man enough.” It’s quite angry, contemptuous, and vicious.
I think if this song were really about a gay man, there would be a lot more controversy. Because the song is about a straight man, its anti-male bigotry largely goes unnoticed. It’s to Sclafani’s credit that he acknowledged it.
The other Katy Perry song which draws comment is ‘I Kissed a Girl.’ The video for it can be seen here or below.
It’s basically a predictable song about a young woman wanting to sexually experiment with other young women. Also predictably, it is popular in large part because heterosexual men find it alluring when attractive women are sexual with each other. Perry sings:
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
There is nothing anti-gay or anti-lesbian about the song.
Sclafani’s full article can be seen here.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-jFKW4vrCw&eurl=http://www.yoursonglyrics.com/i-kissed-a-girl-katy-perry/]
Glenn Sacks, www.GlennSacks.com
[Note: If you or someone you love is faced with a divorce or needs help with child custody, child support, false accusations, Parental Alienation, or other family law or criminal law matters, ask Glenn for help by clicking here.]
19 users commented in " Katy Perry–Anti-Gay or Anti-Male? "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackThere is a fine line between artistic expression and insulting someone…I am not gay, but any mention of suicide in a song makes me nervous. Anyone remember what happened after Pearl Jam released their controversial song and equally controversial video “Jeremy” – – many school shooters had listened to the song and claimed that it influenced their decision to kill their classmates. You’ve got to wonder about how influential music lyrics REALLY are.
i appreciate the comments about “anti-male”, being one, myself… but you really need to re-consider what you consider “male bashing”… the UR So Gay song is hardly male-unfriendly… it’s making fun of guys who think it’s cool to act more female than most females… if he was gay, there’d be no song… if he didn’t ACT gay, there’d be no song… she’s saying “I’m a girl. Not you. Stop it.”… she’s making fun of those guys who are unsure of their own identity, so they say “I want to be different. I’ll act like THOSE GUYS.”… the song is just pointing out those people we all see and shake our heads about… men, women, and gays all think those wanna-be-emo-punks are pathetic… she’s just saying in a girly manner what macho men always say; “Grow a pair.”… and that’s what you might need to do, too… sac-up and realize that not everyone is trying to insult you… jeez, ur SO gay… and you don’t even LIKE boyz… 😐
being gay is not right
anyone who kills themselves over a song deserves to die, the world is much better off without them.
As a gay 20yr old, I think that the song “you’re so gay” contains some anti gay sentiment, but is mainly anti male. It is anti gay b/c it is stereotyping gays and it also reinforces the gay=stupid synonym which is derogatory and false. And while I do understand that the make-up and H&M scarf my have some truth in their stereotypes, there are heterosexuals that do wear one or both that are exceptions to the rule. As for the rest of the clichés, since when was being a vegetarian, eco friendly, indie rock, listening to classical music, or reading gay? And what person that lives in LA hasn’t bitched about it at least once?
Anyways I conclude that it’s mainly male bashing b/c she her self is insecure and needs to make herself feel better
*She’s so boring he’s on MySpace all the time
*She’s feels fat around him b/c he’s skinnier than her
*She feels like she’s not doing enough when compared to his save the earth/vegetarian mantra
*She feels uneducated when compared to his knowledge of literature and music
*He has better clothes than her
*She’s bitter b/c she can’t understand him, and blames it on him, even though he was probably just like this when they met and she knew what she was getting into
*etc
Hey, Check out the pictures of my new emo hair style
in http://tinyurl.com/59ps64
idk, im gay and in my opinion, a lot of other gay people take stuff really personally. I can see why someone would think ‘ur so gay’ is anti gay, and i can see how it can be viewed as that to from an anti-gay persons perspective; but i think its more anti-her ex then anything. I dont think she meant ‘gay’ as a bad thing, like “this movie’s gay”, i think she meant this guy shes with–who obviously needs to be straight–is pretty closeted gay. As for ‘i kissed a girl’, i would concider that PRO gay on the contrary: she says she likes it, and goes against what conservative parents teach: its wrong, bad, all that, but her instincts say ‘yes’. That song has even been banned from some radio stations for it. She says girls are ‘irresistible’ in the song, but you guys fail to mention that. I think people are just way too touchy.
She’s sick. She hate guys who care about the way they look? She wants to dispel the idea of women in music being clean? she thinks all ‘girls’ are touchy-feely with each other (which they are NOT)and (we straight women take offense to that)while growing up? What adult sings songs about that? She is weird. She is mean. She is gay. She is a trouble maker (self confessed). She is ugly. She is trying to get attention in any way she can because her music truly SUCKS! She does NOT deserve the attention she’s been getting by the grammy’s and the innauguration celebration, talk shows, etc. it’s just the old ‘shock value’ trick. She deserves shit.
Wow. I think Katy is such a horrible excuse for a singer. She better end up getting charged for making fun of gay people. I can’t figure it out. She is discriminating gay men, but she herself sings songs about lesbian girls. So is she agaisnt men or gay men? I despise her. She has no right to make fun of people like this. It is very offensive to the gay community. Guys can like who ever they want too, sweetie. Its not just girls. You jackass.
=D
i loveeeeee you katy perry
The song You’re So Gay does NOT bash on gays and is NOT anti-male. I’m a lesbian. The song is simply saying that the dude isn’t gay and he acts like it, hence leading her on. Notice “You’re so gay and YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE BOYS” which gives the idea that if he acted gay and liked boys then it would be ok. But the problem is that he acts gay and he doesn’t like boys. This is what the song is about. Basically, she’s saying, if you’re not really gay, don’t act like it and act like a real man. She was not stereotyping gays, she was actually stereotyping women since this is what gays try to do, be like women and women are usually considered to be soft and whatnot.
The song I kissed a girl and I liked it… IS FUCKING AWESOME.
Stop hating on her lyrics! She’s fucking brilliant and out of the box! Straight up funny!
First and foremost, we are all human beings. I am not gay nor am I a lesbian. I say if anyone who comes on here and judges another should be perfect. We all have been called a jerk, a nerd, a dweeb, chicken, twit, etc. I’m sure no one liked these names. I know I didn’t. I have Epilepsy, but I’ve come to understand that words hurt and people have differences. Remember the saying where 2 or more are gathered in my name…there is love? God didn’t say that a gay or lesbian person is evil. Someone disliked what they saw and labeled it bad. Being different is not a crime, but people believe it is. Men seem to enjoy when two females kiss, but if two males kissed it is considered wrong. Why is it acceptable for one gender and not the other? Love knows no boundaries. Instead of being accepting and understanding, people are quick to judge without knowing the facts. What gives us that right? I have had contact with straight men and women who do not have morals and take advantage of weaker humans. It is like they live to bully these people. Do you really want to be responsible for a suicide? It has happened. Think about it.
First and foremost, we are all human beings. I am not gay nor am I a lesbian. I say if anyone who comes on here and judges another should be perfect. We all have been called a jerk, a nerd, a dweeb, chicken, twit, etc. I’m sure no one liked these names. I know I didn’t. I have Epilepsy, but I’ve come to understand that words hurt and people have differences. Remember the saying where 2 or more are gathered in my name…there is love? God didn’t say that a gay or lesbian person is evil. Someone disliked what they saw and labeled it bad. Being different is not a crime, but people believe it is. Men seem to enjoy when two females kiss, but if two males kissed it is considered wrong. Why is it acceptable for one gender and not the other? Love knows no boundaries. Instead of being accepting and understanding, people are quick to judge without knowing the facts. What gives us that right? I have had contact with straight men and women who do not have morals and take advantage of weaker humans. It is like they live to bully these people. Do you really want to be responsible for a suicide? It has happened. Think about it.
First and foremost, we are all human beings. I am not gay nor am I a lesbian. I say if anyone who comes on here and judges another should be perfect. We all have been called a jerk, a nerd, a dweeb, chicken, twit, etc. I’m sure no one liked these names. I know I didn’t. I have Epilepsy, but I’ve come to understand that words hurt and people have differences. Remember the saying where 2 or more are gathered in my name…there is love? God didn’t say that a gay or lesbian person is evil. Someone disliked what they saw and labeled it bad. Being different is not a crime, but people believe it is. Men seem to enjoy when two females kiss, but if two males kissed it is considered wrong. Why is it acceptable for one gender and not the other? Love knows no boundaries. Instead of being accepting and understanding, people are quick to judge without knowing the facts. What gives us that right? I have had contact with straight men and women who do not have morals and take advantage of weaker humans. It is like they live to bully these people. Do you really want to be responsible for a suicide? It has happened. Think about it.
Please watch her performance on SNL this past weekend… absolutely HORRIBLE.
“One man, one woman. It just makes sense.”
Eh, it mocks a man by making an unfavorable comparison to gays. It’s at least homophobic in part, if not in full.
I don’t know that Katy Perry actually maintains any truly hateful sentiments, but it’s disheartening to see the way so many young people mindlessly toss around this slur whenever they want to knock another person for any reason.
And it certainly doesn’t help gay teens out. I wish she’d apologize for it, really. That would go a long way toward increasing gay acceptance in our society.
@Sophie:
The song “UR So Gay” VERY MUCH IS anti-male and, obviously, so are you. The guy Katy Perry sings about is NOT “acting gay” to “lead (Katy Perry) on”. He was just expressing his feminine side, as we guys should have a right to do (but, obviously, women say no). Expressing a feminine side does NOT make a man gay, and does not mean he IS gay. It is a fact that the majority of males with a feminine side are straight, as I am. Neither you nor Katy Perry, being females, have ANY PLACE telling us men how we should act or dress, and you have no place dictating what is, and what is not, “gay”, or “manly” for men. If you’re a lesbian, then why do you even CARE how any male dresses, acts, or looks? This is a BIG problem with the attitudes of women and girls in general, not just Katy Perry. There’s a double standard that women and girls, and ONLY women and girls, are allowed to dress, look, and act as MASCULINE as they want, or as feminine as they want, and yet STILL be considered normal, while they turn around and think they can dictate to us guys how WE have to dress, look, or act in order to fit THEIR rigid idea of what “masculine” is. WE MEN can wear makeup, and long hair, and miniskirts (which I do), and even be vegans, wear H&M scarves, and drive electric cars (which I, for one, don’t). NONE OF THOSE THINGS make us “unmanly” or “pussies” or “gay”. Quite the contrary, it takes REAL BALLS for a guy to do those things. We men don’t have to live up to any female-defined standard of what “manliness” or “masculinity” entails in order to be “real men”. It is neither Katy Perry’s nor your place to dictate how men or boys should dress, look, or act. Those ideas of “manliness” went out with the 1950s. How come if accepted gender roles can change for women and girls, and they can wear pants, and the same clothes that we guys wear, and they can play contact sports, ride motorcycles, work on cars, get tattoos, and do everything else we guys do, yet still be considered normal, feminine women, that gender roles can’t change for us guys, too? We guys should be allowed to likewise do what our society considers “girl things” and still be regarded as masculine men.
Obviously it is anti-male. And also anti-female. Whenever something degrades a male for being like a female it hurts the male and the female. A female is not something to compare a male to when you want to shame them. That shames females because they see that being female is a shameful thing to be. This is anti-humanity.
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