It’s strange that Europe’s biggest high-speed booming economy should have any trouble keeping its own people at home these days. But when you’re an exporting powerhouse like Germany (the world’s number three in armaments, for example, and number one in advice) that just goes with the turf, I guess. Whatever the case may be, more Germans left Deutschland last year than since 1954.

Despite being a worker’s paradise where everyone swings serenely in a cushy “social market economy” hammock, or so the common myth goes, many well-educated and qualified German workers and academics obviously think otherwise (or perhaps don’t find that all that terribly rewarding) and continue to leave the country in droves.

Personally, I’m shocked and even shattered in places. That these wayward and spoiled only children would leave the rest of their not-so-hard-working countrymen behind them to hold the bag or “social net” without them like this, why these socially irresponsible parasites are clearly only looking out for number one, the social scum. And they even have the gall to openly admit it. Many of last year’s 161,000 ship jumpers claimed that they were leaving their homeland for “lower taxes and universities that give researchers more freedom and better job opportunities” and other such material things. Why that’s, uh, surprising.

Well don’t let the door hit you on the way out, I say. Just because you’re “the cream of the crop of the country’s elite” doesn’t mean you’re all that hot. You’ll be back once you get a real taste of Amerikanische Verhältnisse (American conditions), even if you find them in New Zealand, South Africa or Brazil. Or maybe you won’t be back, come to think of it.

Or maybe you will. After tonight’s (and Sunday’s?) big victory, I mean.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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