Here’s a headline that’s like music to my ears: “John Edwards to Quit Presidential Race.” It’s the kind of news that makes me feel like getting up and dancing a jig. No more will we have to suffer his disingenuous pandering about “two Americas.” No more of his class warfare buncombe. No more of his perfectly quaffed hair. Just begone already.

There are plenty of politicians out there with whom I can cheerfully disagree without rancor, but when it comes to Edwards, I have to admit to one of the most visceral dislikes I’ve ever had for a public figure. If I had to listen to one more of his “two Americas” sob stories about how the deck is permanently stacked against the poor, I think I would have–

Well, I’ll spare you the unpleasant regurgitative details. Suffice it to say the guy is a sleazy, slimy shyster who pushed a negative economic view of this country that is so utterly and demonstrably false that it is infuriating in its mendacity.

For complete details, see my column “John Edwards, You’re No Bobby Kennedy.” In a nutshell, though, his own personal story, which is that he is the son of a poor ol’ mill worker who goes on to become rich and run for president, belies all the class warfare claptrap on which his campaign has been based. The fact is, if you are of reasonably sound mind and body and you can’t make it in this country which is the greatest engine of prosperity in the history of civilization, then there’s something wrong with you, not with the country itself.

But even in his bowing out of the presidential race, Edwards will sicken us one last time by officially ending his campaign in Katrina-ravaged New Orleans where he can go out with a bang, railing against, as one article put it, a “Washington that didn’t hear the cries of the downtrodden.”

Yeah, well, the local and state government didn’t much “hear the cries of the downtrodden” either, having failed miserably in their own and more pressing responsibilities to the local population.

Of course, one of the fundamental and inherent problems with the “Chocolate City,” as Mayor Ray Nagin famously fancied it, is its large welfare population, which is a population wholly dependent upon government to take care of it, which tends to create an environment where normal human initiative is replaced by lassitude. Combine that with certain geographical realities such as a city below sea level and the proximity of the mighty Mississippi River, Lake Ponchartrain and a hurricane-prone Gulf of Mexico, and you’ve got a disaster waiting to happen.

So hurry up and get it over with, Mr. Edwards, and then please go back to your 28,000-square-foot mansion which was built with the money you made suing doctors and driving up the cost of healthcare for all of us.

Greg Strange provides conservative commentary with plenty of acerbic wit on the people, politics, events and absurdities of our time. See more at his website:

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