Apple learned many years ago that success could only be achieved through innovation. Merely copying what others did would not fit the bill. Oh and everything needed to be proprietary.

The Apple engineers have created many iconic products, the ‘one button’ mouse.


This fixed the ongoing problem of left or right clicking!
There is also the no button mouse.


I rather like this. Due to an unfortunate falling out with a part of my brain several years ago my right hand is still in a time out! No buttons is the way to go!

They also produced the worlds first high tech fish tank.


These were amazing inventions.

Without doubt the finest product was the iPhone, in the palm of your hand you had it all. You could listen to Led Zepplin, watch YouTube videos, check your email, boy this had it all. It is also rumored that you could actually use it to make phone calls. It is just a rumor so don’t get excited. Apparently the favorite use of the iPhone is to play some game called ‘Angry Birds’.

I know nothing about Angry Birds, but if it keeps people from starting wars, I am all for it.

The Apple watching web sites and blogs are full of rumors surrounding the iPhone 5, the camera will be more powerful than the Hubble Telescope, with the new ‘Big Bang App’ (rumored to be available for $4.99) you will be able to view the very beginnings of the Universe. Other sites suggest that the iPhone 5 will be more tightly integrated with Social Networking. Of course Apple being Apple they have set their sights higher than Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus, they want something truly innovative. By using the new and very secret proprietary chip codenamed Latte, you will be able to turn your phone into a mobile Starbucks Coffee Emporium.

Obviously these tech experts are wrong. None have them talked about the iKeg chip, this amazing lump of silicon turns your phone into an instant party location, better still, with GPS people will know where to find the iKegger party.

Apple are of course wanting to appeal to the female consumer, and they might have made it  with the iKea chip.  One click and you are knee deep in boxes full of unfinished Pine wood a bag of ‘bits’ and an instruction manual that has gone through many  iTerations of translation. The iKea chip may well be Apples secret weapon. Angry Birds may be popular, but I really think the iKea Angry Husband app will be a huge money maker.

All of this talk about the new iPhone is iBull Shit. Here is the exclusive photo.


Apparently there has been a rash of cell phones being lost or stolen. The iPhone 5 is ‘tethered’. It plugs into the wall. You cannot take it to the supermarket, or annoy fellow diners at your favorite restaurant, it is also friendly in your local Movie Theater. It never needs recharging, it has no need.

OK it is a bit short on multimedia support, but a call to your local phone service provider  should give at least 1 hour of music before someone answers. Flash support, like most Apple products is a little lacking. However, picking up the receiver and  hitting the micro switches twice in a row (quickly) will ‘flash’ the operator that you want to talk to her.
Simon Barrett

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