Holidays Are Rough When the One with Whom One Shared Them Is Gone

This is probably my most personal blog, but perhaps it will be helpful to others who have lost a loved one. My dear wife who died August 22 ’09 and I met as young teens at a conference our parents were attending. We fell in love and at our next meeting four years later, decided that we would get married. And we did as soon as she graduated from college and we headed off for a year of studies at Oxford.

Fortunately she did not suffer in anticipating death, as she was unconscious during her last few weeks in the hospital. She had had excellent medicine. But I had always figured that I would be the first to go and was shocked at her loss.

I am particularly reminded of her when the big holidays come along — Thanksgiving and Christmas. I try not to think of her too much as such thoughts bring inevitable sadness. Her public service was great and she was honored for it both before and after her death. From where I sit at the computer, I see a half dozen awards to her service from our local politicians — Morningside Heights and lower West Harlem where she fought Columbia to protect the residents and businesses there from expulsion — our graduate student institution!

The lesson that I learned from her death is that we are all mortal and should do our best to help others while we can. Health keeps me at home, so I blog out of my background as a social, legal, political philosopher. I get about 100 informative email reports each day on matters that one does not often find on TV. I pass along the best of these with comments.

All three of my children are helping others and greatly miss their talks with their mother.

I assume we shall weather the recent election and hope that some good things emerge as a consequence of it. Yes, I greatly appreciate Wikileaks for telling us things as they are. Perhaps the reports will encourage peace, rather than war? We shall see.

“A war is just if there is no alternative, and the resort to arms is legitimate if they represent your last hope.” (Livy cited by Machiavelli)

Ed Kent [blind copies]

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