Some sixty years ago, my future wife and I met as young teens at a conference and fell deeply in love. We decided to marry the next time we met as college students.

We had to wait for a time, as wives of grad students were expected to drop out of school to support their husbands. Happily I had a national fellowship that decided to support the graduate studies of wives, too.

And so so were married in 1957 when she graduated from Sarah Lawrence and headed off to Oxford for our first year of marriage. We earned our own way with a little loan help and had a marvelous year. Both of us did grad studies at Columbia where she excelled. Rather than teaching, however, she pursued an earlier love — preserving buildings and communities for which she became quite famous. She had a rousing battle with Colombia trying to grab a lower portion of West Harlem.

Last summer she died August 22, having bravely and cheerfully fought cancer for 9 years during which she kept busy with community service.

She was deeply honored with a marvelous memorial service a few months later.

The point of this blog is that one never forgets when one has been truly and deeply loved as we were. I wake from dreams chatting with her and then realize that she is no longer with us.

I am sharing this very personal blog with others who have known such a profound and unforgettable love. We will never stop grieving nor will we forget the greatness of such a relationship either.

“A war is just if there is no alternative, and the resort to arms is legitimate if they represent your last hope.” (Livy cited by Machiavelli)

Ed Kent [blind copies]

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