Grieving!
Some sixty years ago, my future wife and I met as young teens at a conference and fell deeply in love. We decided to marry the next time we met as college students.
We had to wait for a time, as wives of grad students were expected to drop out of school to support their husbands. Happily I had a national fellowship that decided to support the graduate studies of wives, too.
And so so were married in 1957 when she graduated from Sarah Lawrence and headed off to Oxford for our first year of marriage. We earned our own way with a little loan help and had a marvelous year. Both of us did grad studies at Columbia where she excelled. Rather than teaching, however, she pursued an earlier love — preserving buildings and communities for which she became quite famous. She had a rousing battle with Colombia trying to grab a lower portion of West Harlem.
Last summer she died August 22, having bravely and cheerfully fought cancer for 9 years during which she kept busy with community service.
She was deeply honored with a marvelous memorial service a few months later.
The point of this blog is that one never forgets when one has been truly and deeply loved as we were. I wake from dreams chatting with her and then realize that she is no longer with us.
I am sharing this very personal blog with others who have known such a profound and unforgettable love. We will never stop grieving nor will we forget the greatness of such a relationship either.
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“A war is just if there is no alternative, and the resort to arms is legitimate if they represent your last hope.” (Livy cited by Machiavelli)
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Ed Kent [blind copies]
9 users commented in " Grieving! "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackYour article touched me deeply and you are so right, we will never, ever forget or stop grieving over a unconditional love of someone.
I’ll 3rd that!! Its been 7 long yrs. since I lost my teddy bear of 38 yrs. I still dream of his bear hugs and his tender pat on my knee or shoulder. His death was sudden and unexpected. I sometimes call his name just to feel his existance.
Your Dear lives forever in your heart and mind and soul, and she is with you every second of every day. Her love surrounds you and will never leave you. It sounds like the two of you had a wonderful ride together! God Bless.
There is never “closer” in death of true love. You just start to live second to second day to day.There is no right or wrong way. It is just.the motion of routine that pushes you forward. Your heart is forever changed and for each goodbye you learn. Peace + light to broken hearts
Your story is wonderful and heart warming.
The moral of the story is to get as much education as possible and only in that way can you fulfill your dreams of accomplishment.
You don’t mention children and I wonder if you experienced also the joys and heartaches that only children can bring to a relationship, broadening it to dimensions unknown before.
God bless you and may you continue your life and help instill in our youth the power of education.
Ann
Thank you so very much for sharing these very precious thoughts Ed.
Much appreciated.
Thank you Ed for sharing. You were one of the lucky ones in life to have experienced a great love.
Your post touched my soul and my heart, I so very much appreciate you sharing your private loss with so many… Truly from my heart, I am so sorry for the passing of your incredible wife and life partner..
Are you ever angry, wonder why she left this life first and why you have to try to go on by yourself? Or ever be angry at God for what has happened? The only concept I am still trying to learn about with the death of my daughter, is there are no answers, no absolutes..no magic “feel better”… and not so sure about that “garden in heaven” where God needs another flower.. you know it is my baby, your life long partner, your soul mate … the cliques don’t heal our heart, however their love of life and strength is what we celebrate.
My best to you, heart to heart.
We have 3 children and four grands so far. To be honest it is these seven that keep me alive. I do not fear death. Ed
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