Clearly paying no heed to German EU industry commissioner Verheugen’s warning about hysterischer Aktionismus (hysterical, unexamined action or activity) in matters concerning climate protection, and caught red-handed helping Germany cheat on the CO2 emission targets set for it at Kyoto, a group of mad (as in angry) and panicked German scientists has been caught pumping excess greenhouse gas into a huge underground reservoir near Berlin.

After their arrests, lawyers representing the scientists claim that their clients had merely been doing a little research to see how feasible it would be pumping massive amounts of CO2 gases deep under the earth in an effort to win time for the world to develop new CO2-free technologies. Environmental activists didn’t buy any of this nonsense for a minute, however, and are demanding the scientists’ immediate execution or deportation to Guantanamo.

Verheugen, too, is said to have scoffed at their pitiful efforts and moaned “We keep getting these strange waves (of hysteria) here in Europe. Two years ago everybody was yelling: Jobs, jobs, jobs! Now all you hear is: Climate, climate, climate!”

Be that as it may, the influential EU commissioner, known for his staunch support for the German automobile industry, believes that Europe is as innocent as a lamb when it comes to CO2 emissions. “Europe causes only a relatively small amount of the worldwide CO2 emissions,” he said. “And those caused by automobiles here make up an extremely small portion of that.”

It is unclear where the mad German scientists got the huge amounts of gas they used during their diabolical experiments, but a spokesman for Verheugen has assured reporters that the commissioner was nowhere near Berlin when the pumping took place.

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