Hermann F. (no relation to Hermann himself), a partially-named man living in the northern German town of Lauenförde, has finally been able to convince authorities that there is a small steel box buried in his garden out back containing 14 pellets (110 grams) of radioactive nuclear fuel. Components for nuclear reactor fuel rods apparently produced in a Siemens factory in Hanau, and not all that dangerous in this form and quantity, Mr. F. is nevertheless unable or unwilling to say from whom he got them.

This is not all that surprising really, as Mr. F. is also unable to explain what the other letters of his last name are. But the real punch line here is that this guy has been telling local police and others “higher on up” (politicians, Greenpeace, Der Spiegel etc., and finally, the Chancellor) about this stuff for ten years now and nobody has ever taken him seriously. Well, the police did, once. They actually came by one time with Geiger counters and the whole bit, but Mr. F. got disoriented and nervous again and couldn’t find the place where he had buried the container anymore.

Then he began wondering if he hadn’t dreamed the whole thing up. I would, too. And even do, especially when you consider that possessing nuclear fuel is a criminal offence in Germany (jeez, like is everything verboten here?), and he certainly seems like the law-abiding type to me.

There is definitely something really fishy and conspiratorial going on up there. And it’s got Scully and Molder written all over it. Like, how thorough are those cops up north? What the hell else is buried in that guy’s backyard?

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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