After the recent outbidding flop during the buyout sale for the Bulgarian nurses held in Libya, and with more of its own citizens being taken hostage in the Muslim world all the time, Germany has begun to consider if there might not be a more effective option than blindly paying off kidnappers the highest price asked ASAP.

Following a string of kidnappings of German nationals, particularly in Afghanistan and Iraq, the German government is reportedly discussing ways of implementing a more flexible payoff strategy and has called on militant Islamic groups around the world to begin placing all their western hostages on eBay.

“The eBay process is heavily geared towards mediation or resolving disputes directly and is also very user-friendly,” said one Berlin Finance Ministry official. “And the eBay rating system is also very simple and intuitive to use. This old-fashioned “pay first, ask questions later” method is simply out of date you guys. Put one of our nationals up for a week with a starting price of say, 100,000 euros and let’s take it from there. Between competing government agencies and concerned family members we’ll all get the fair market price in the end.”

When one reporter asked “Some of us out there worry that the money which is being paid to free German hostages is falling into the wrong hands and could actually be funding terrorist arsenals and encouraging even more hostage taking. Why pay at all?” The official shuffled some paper and became quite flustered, excused himself and ran off to another appointment he had apparently forgotten to mention.

Pay first, ask questions later

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

Be Sociable, Share!