Up until hearing this I was convinced that the American currency was the only one in tatters. But now baffled German authorities are even more baffled than usual because they have discovered that hundreds of euro bills have begun mysteriously disintegrating all across the country, which is baffling.

Reminiscent of Mission Impossible, these bills self-destruct, should you decide to accept them or not. And nobody seems to know why this is happening, although some experts have speculated that the bills may have been sprinkled with some kind of sulfate that turns into to sulfuric acid when coming into contact with hand perspiration.

And given how nervous everybody has been around here these days, this all adds up. Germany is, after all, the only country whose bills have been affected. Hmmm.

Personally I think it’s some kind of an elaborate Illumiati or Free Mason conspiracy. If you look closely at the holes in that fifty note bill up there (really closely), it obviously depicts a sinister looking smiley face with one ear and an outline of Lake Erie which, when “cut out” and placed together in the proper fashion and placed upon a map of Berlin, indicate the exact location of the Holy Grail.

And damn, it’s somewhere in Prenzlauer Berg!

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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