RedlineSome movies promise intriguing stories and intense drama. Others promise big names and action packed adventures… and then some say “Hot Cars and Hotter Women” on the cover. Guess which category Redline, the new film from producer Daniel Sadek, falls under?

With a cast pulled from the dredges of the B-list, the biggest name here is Eddie Griffin: a comedian known for being occasionally funny and vaguely annoying. Nadia Bjorlin does her best to create a real character, laying out all her Days of Our Lives depth for Natasha, the fast-driving, pop-singing, autoshop-owning daughter of a dead racer, but it remains abundantly clear (to everyone else at least) that she’s just there to serve as eye candy when the cars are off the screen. Nathan Phillips follows his dramatic turn in Snakes on a Plane with this angry Iraq war hero/Jason Bourne copycat character who can barely make it through a scene without blowing something up, or at least kicking someone in the face. The rest of the cast is pretty nondescript, apart from Angus Macfadyen, who manages to create a living, breathing, New Agey slimeball a few steps above anything else in the film.

But Redline really isn’t about the actors. No, it’s not about the acting, it’s not about the directing, and it’s definitely not about the plot. Redline is a film about cars. About cars that go fast. And about cars that go boom. Each contrived plot turn is about another race and another exotic auto being pushed to its limits, and (hope against hope) possibly exploding- or at least crashing. Ostensibly, the film is about “daredevil drivers” who “race the world’s most exotic cars for million dollar bets.” And if that’s what viewers are looking for, and it better be if they’ve looked at the cover, then they won’t be disappointed. Though Andy Cheng’s frenetic shots don’t always do the races justice, there’s plenty of racing to be had, and plenty of long “sexy” pans over sleek, aerodynamic, racecars. Though it doesn’t promise much, few movies live up to their promises as completely as Redline.

Showing the world what $26 million and a personal collection of exotic cars can buy, Daniel Sadek sets out to produce 4 Fast 4 Furious and ends up with a passable TBS late night special. With enough bikini-clad women to make any 13 year old’s odometer rise and more cleavage than you can shake a stick-shift at, the entire movie can be encapsulated in one brief instant: an eager young Hollywood extra, appropriately clad in the revealing uniform that all females in the Redline world must don, throws her top into the air to start a race, and as the cars whiz by, she slowly turns to the camera and gives a seductive wink. Drop the checkered flag, we get it.

Zach’s Rating: C
13-year old car enthusiast’s rating: B+
Professor of Women and Gender Studies’ rating: F

To view the trailer, visit Youtube
To purchase Redline on DVD, visit Amazon

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