It appears as if Germany has been victimized yet again. Only this time it’s the climate. That everything is falling apart and sinking into chaos and ushering in the apocalypse has always been a well-established fact in this country, of course. But that the current levels of devastation and mayhem and downright discomfort have reached such dramatic proportions has even surprised the odd German or two (tops).

According to a highly-scientific study put out by an organization that actually gets paid to watch Germany (must be nice, the getting paid part I mean), Germany is one of the top ten countries worldwide that is getting wiped off the face of the earth by climate change as we speak, so-to-speak. Of the so-called “developed” countries, only France is worse off, and they don’t even know it yet (they don’t have a Francewatch, I guess). But the French probably wouldn’t care less if they knew about it anyway.

After carefully reading this study, and you know that everybody will, Germanwatching German specialists fear that many of these alarmed, watched Germans will now begin demanding that Berlin begin the colonization of Mars in a last ditch effort to get the hell out of here before the friggin’ Deathstar explodes.

Unfortunately, Germany can’t afford a Mars colonization project on its own at the moment because of all of the new coal-burning power plants it is planning to build. And you know that nobody will have the heart to tell these would-be colonists the truth so just lean forward folks, put your head between your knees, and kiss your you-know-what goodbye.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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