Dear Soniaji, Manmohanji and pyaare bhaiyya Rahul

Since that spectacular moment in 2004 when Soniaji sacrificed her responsibilities and selected Manmohanji to do all that was beneath her to do I have not had a chance to say thanks, so here goes.

Thanks for giving us an electile dysfunctional Manmohan Singh as Prime Minister for left to himself he would never have managed to win an election forget making it to Prime Minister.

Thanks for gifting us the first woman President in Pratibha Patil for left to herself her lack of ethics and highly questionable credentials would not have gotten her anywhere beyond Mahrashtra Pradesh Congress President.

Thanks also for gifting us the Office of Profit Bill for without it how would we have ever scripted your second coming in Rae Barelli.

Thanks for the National Rural Employment Gurantee Act for now how else would we know the best and worst way to build a kilometre of rural road connectivity.

Thanks for reminding us that Muslims have first right on national resources after all we got carried away thinking the Mughal era had ended with Bahadur Shah Zafar.

Thanks also for forcing us to ensure that 15% of all funds must go to Muslims  after all we got carried away thinking that you teamed up with the communist mafioso to be “secular” while keeping the “communal” bjp out.

While I am at it let me also thank you and Justice Rajinder Sachar for undertaking a head count of Muslims in the armed forces and elsewhere now we can be politically correct in using the wrong sections of the army are not forced to fight terrorists.

No vote of thanks will be complete without this thank you from all the Muslims of Nandigram who enjoyed your silence while Buddhadeb was paying them back with their own coins. They loved it and would like for you to periodically arrange some more dum dum dawai with the excellent relationship you enjoy with Don Karat.

Let me also thank you for keeping Afzal Guru alive as a source for inspiration and hope to all those budding terrorists out there that we will treat them humanely with compassion while leaving the door open for a future escape.

Thanks also for reminding us of Mr. Advani and BJP’s anti-terrorism record it helps put a smokescreen on your delinquency and deafening silence on anti-terrorism while handing a slap in the face of all of those victims of terrorism who have been a pesky nusiance to Rahul baba unecessarily embarassing him.

Allow me to thank you for gifting us with one of the finest minds for a Home Minister in Shivraj Patil, such a devout person who routinely prays for more Intelligence. Also what a sense of duty, every time you need to travel for a political meeting he is there sacrificing whatever official duties he may have to ensure you get to enjoy an Indian Air Force jet even if it means the ignominy of being relegated to a sideshow. What commitment, what a gem of a person, not even your Italian bred poodle must be showing this kind of Loyalty.

Last but not the least thank you for making Manmohan Singhji look like had some spine every now and then when he is allowed to call Prakash Karat’s bluff to play bad cop to your good cop.

We never quite understood what the fuss on this Nuclear deal was all about but thank you anyway.

Thanks for the debt relief not that I can enjoy but then thanks for allowing us to forget we had a problem with farmers in 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007. We know you couldnt have avoided giving us the bad news in 2008 having slept over it all these 4 years but we understand. Thanks also for blaming it on the BJP I had trouble explaining sleeping over this for the last 4 years to my farmer friends.

Finally I know I speak for every loyal gandhi topi white kurta sporting Congress worker when I say thank you for gifting Gujarat to Narendra Modi, Uttar Pradesh to Mayawatiji, Punjab to the Akalis, Uttarakhand to the BJP, Bihar to Nitish, West Bengal, Tripura and Kerala to the Communists,  Meghalaya to the NCP, Nagaland to the MPF while ensuring that we are at the mercy of the Muslims in Assam, Sharad Pawar in Maharashtra while the tail wags the dog in Goa and Jharkhand despite some very loyal and pliant Governors who by the way we almost routinely confuse to be Congress workers, not that they mind it.

Yours Truly

A loyal Congress Foot Soldier.

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