According to German Foreign Aid Minister Heidemarie Wieczorek-Zeul, climate change not only poses a greater threat to the civilized world than international terrorism, it is a worldwide challenge more formidable than the proper pronunciation of her ridiculously difficult-to-pronounce name.

The SPD politician some refer to as “Red Heidi” (you have to refer to her as something when she’s got a name like Heidemarie Wieczorek-Zeul) made her comments in Berlin in connection with the opening round of the G8 summit being held in the Baltic Sea resort of Heiligendamm. “Climate change is the greatest safety hazard facing the world today,” she said. “It will lead to great global changes like war and famine and to a form of political destabilization not yet attainable by professional political destabilizers like myself. Yes, it’s that good. I mean, bad.”

“We will all have to do some rethinking here,” she said. “We may have to consider the possibility of selling our second or third German car, for instance, or start buying expensive, unsubsidized local produce, or maybe even cut down on a few of those quick weekend flights to Mallorca. By the way, it is entirely possible that climate change could eventually cause flights like these to cost more than 30 euros a pop.”

“I don’t want to start a panic or anything, its way too late for that. But you must understand that climate change is more challenging than the proper pronunciation of my name. And if you don’t believe me, well, my name isn’t, uh, you know, whatever.”

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