Just hours before American and Russian leaders are scheduled to meet at the G8 summit in Heiligendamm, Germany, President George W. Bush is quietly considering the chances of getting away with taking a swing at Vladimir Putin when nobody else is looking.

Completely frustrated at his friend Vladimir’s insistent whining about the planned central European missile defense system as well as his ever-growing authoritarian and Czar-like style, and with only two years left in the Oval Office and the window of opportunity for such action rapidly closing, Bush figures that a quick preemptive strike in Putin’s face while cameramen are distracted filming one of host Angela Merkel’s many speeches might just clear things up between the two world leaders and let off a little steam and all that and lead to a more relaxed American-Russian-good-old-buddy-type relationship. But, then again, it might not lead to that at all, which would be dog gone shame. Although it would certainly relax George W. Bush at least, he tells himself.

Upon monitoring similar comments made by the President during recent fitful and all too short periods of sleep, Secret Service personnel have notified the President’s closest White House aids who are now busy urging Bush to exercise more caution with the Russian autocrat as he is a black belt in judo and his country still possesses tens of thousands of top notch nuclear weapons.

“Okay, okay. I’ll keep a lid on it this time,” assured the disappointed President. “But let me tell ya, if these troubling implications for democratic development in Russia keep on, uh, implicating themselves, I’m gonna knock him into next week next time.”

I got your black belt for ya right here, buddy.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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