I fell asleep wondering about what was to become of our Trumpian dystopia that we call America today. I woke up in a world that not even the late great Douglas Adams could have foreseen. Try this small taste:

Oolak technology was too advanced even for the Flarg and the stationary Oolak, even a broken one, was invisible to all sensors except a Nazdard. Yayo’s uniform and all of the Oolak tools were also undetectable when they were anywhere near the oolak.

Sex On The Wrong Brain can be read in different ways. Yes maybe it is a slightly higgledy piggldy jumble of fun ideas that us humans spend far too much time masturbating, and to make matters worse we tend to use the wrong hand!

There is a second way to digest the book, this takes the reader on a much darker, but more satirical journey.

A race from a far flung galaxy had realized that the left/right function of the human brain during masturbation was causing serious shifts in the plans of the primitive creatures that called earth home. The benevolent aliens install an oolak, this device will restore balance and normalcy. Indeed it does.

Time passes, and even the most robust of equipment needs some TLC. Irrationality and despotism is on the rise. To counter the threat The Oolak Council dispatch Team Five Seven Six to assess the situation and repair the broken Oolak.

A major side effect of an oolak problem is a chain reaction between masturbation and eventually taking over the world. At the center of the problem is a US Presidential candidate, Hack Rimmington, Hack is an unfortunate creature, unable to differentiate fact from fiction he just babbles whatever nonsense that comes into his head. This might remind you of a certain current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Making the situation worse is that the Earthlings have managed to get their hands on some Oolak tools. While they have no clue how to operate them the random touching and stroking of them is having dire consequences.

One of the joys of Ard Falten are his unlikely characters and aven unlikelier props and situations, who cant love Lulu (Princess Noodle Head) who has eyes on Rimmington’s goal and already has snatched his collection of Golden Tongue awards (A much coveted talk radio award, it’s not the quality, its the volume that matters). Can a polymer made from factory farmed ‘platypus bills offer protection from the crisis? Yes I like ‘Sex On the Wrong Brain’ a lot. If you like Douglas Adams and don’t mind a few ‘smutty’ bits, you will enjoy this book’.

My personal view is that Ard Falten has a winner of his hands, but maybe not in this format, this is a very visual piece of work. It would translate wonderfully to the big screen, of course Hollywood only likes to make remakes of Batman, Ghostbusters, Fast & Furious and Rocky to take on something as entertaining as this project.

Give this book a try, it is well worth the effort.

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