The troubling disappearance of last year’s potential bird flu epidemic has left the general population in frantic search of a new and mysterious sickness to get hysterical about. And now, after months of sustained effort, a breakthrough was finally reached over the weekend: The vibrio vulnificus bacteria has been discovered in the Baltic Sea.

As the scientific online journal reported: “Climate change is also having serious consequences for Germany – for the environment, but also for our health. Suddenly, diseases are appearing here that would normally only be found in the tropics!” That’s right, the dreaded “Curse of the Caribbean” has reached Travemünde and will no doubt be visiting your favorite Baltic Sea town resort some time this summer, too – and no, I’ve never heard of the Curse of the Caribbean, either (although wasn’t there this movie with Johnny Depp recently or something?).

Although at home all over the planet, large amounts of the vibrio bacteria are normally only found in warmer locales like the Gulf of Mexico where they can cause serious infections and an occasional life-threatening form of blood poisoning. That this “Killer-Keim“ is now more frequent in the warmer Baltic Sea waters is further proof that the climate is changing, researchers say. “It is also proof that the sky is falling,” say several people standing around in shock on the street corner near where I live. “And that we are all going to die. Hilfe!”

Should it turn out that the vibrio vulnificus epidemic hysteria fizzles out all too quickly, and many skeptics fear that this will indeed be the case, a backup epidemic has also been put into place. According to the Lübecker Nachrichten, this year’s warm winter has also increased the likelihood of a tick plague this coming spring. It will be one of biblical proportions, of course. It has to be.

For the moment, scientists are refusing to comment about the tick, but as you all know, we have ways of making them talk.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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