Oh sure, you have the gas tank full in the car, you have set the alarm clock for Dark Thirty and the chances are that you have been ‘working out’ to get ready for the hustle and bustle at the local megamart. Of course the odds on you bein one of the first 10 people through the doors at 2am to pick up one of the 3 large screen TV’s for $10 is unlikely. But don’t fret, there are still great deals to be had.

A minor issue unfortunately is that there will be one or two other folks that have their eyes on the same merchandise. My recommendation is to dress appropriately. My favorite site for getting the right equipment is the Bullet Proof Vest Shop.

Pretty much these folks can meet all of your requirements.

For the male shoppers I would recommend this:


With a build in groin protector you will be safe from those mean old ladies wielding canes.

Incidentally, it is unisex, the groin protector can be removed.
This body armor is good against gun fire, and knives.

Of course old ladies wielding canes will quickly figure out that you have a groin protector on, they will switch the attack to the exposed head. Once again I would recommend a quick trip to the Bullet Proof Vest Shop. I really like this fashion statement.

It is bullet proof, and I am sure that it could withstand the hardest blow from a walking stick.

Pretty much you can protect yourself for around $1000.

You are now almost ready for the battle. But I would recommend that  you you protect your feet from the Blue Hairs in Hoverounds. A quick look online took me to Steel Toe Shoes. They seem to have the perfect protective footwear.


Be safe, and have fun on Black Friday.

Simon Barrett

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