So what if Americans are Europe’s worst-dressed tourists? We are still relatively polite (third place) and at least we try and speak the local language – the key word here is “try”. Okay, we’re also still pretty loud, too, although I would personally prefer to call this being boisterous. It could be worse, however. We could be Germans. They’re just clean – and cheap.

That’s if you want to believe the responses made by 15,000 European hoteliers to a survey carried out on behalf of travel website Expedia. To sum it up: The worst tourist nation was France, of all places, followed by India, China and Russia. And those inscrutably well-mannered, goody two-shoes Japanese kicked everybody in the butt with them by taking first place in the most polite tourist department. What are they really up to here?

Here are some more gory details if you want: Once the Americans leave the room, other extremely poorly-dressed tourists you might notice will be the British and the Italians. The French and the Spanish dress up the nicest. The Japanese are not only the most polite, they were also the best behaved, bowing their way past the Germans and the Americans – hey, like we were number one back in 2002, what’s wrong here people? The Italians are the loudest, by the way. But just barely. The Americans and the British are breathing/yelling down their necks. Again, the Japanese are the quietest here, too, although it also appears to be quite difficult to get a word out of the Chinese and the Swiss, as well. The Germans are the perfect guests, of course. They actually tidy up their rooms before the chambermaid arrives. They’re awful at giving tips, however.

But who cares what a bunch of snooty European hoteliers have to say about anything anyway? They came in first on the taking-the-dumbest-survey list. Well they came in first on mine. This year they did, I mean.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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