Previous Article: Adoption Language, Controlling Perspectives Part I

In the previous article, I talked about the natural families perspective of Positive adoption language versus Honest Adoption Language. In this article, I will discuss what happens to the baby when they are separated from the mother, and talk about how society views the event.

According to a parenting course called Empathetic Parenting:

The mother’s body continues to work for her infant after birth by making milk. This milk production will continue as long as the infant nurses. The need for nursing keeps them working as a unit. This is simply a continuation of what had been happening in the womb. One major difference, of course, is that the mother does the work automatically when the baby is in the womb. After the baby is born, the mother has to think about what she is doing and actually move to meet the baby’s needs.

The mother provides the baby’s first social contact, food, temperature control, protection, immunity through antibodies in her milk, a familiar heartbeat, smells, and movements. These are basic needs, of which a caretaker or adoptive parent can not replace. Because the infant knows her mother, a caretaker or adoptive parent, is a stranger to the infant or child, despite any legal contract which puts responsibility of caring for the child on adoptive parents.

In fact, according to this parenting course:

When babies are first separated from their mother, they will begin to protest in an urgent effort to get their lost mother back. They will often cry loudly, shake their cribs, and throw themselves about. They will look eagerly towards any site or sound, which might prove to be their missing mother. This may continue off and on for a week or more. Throughout this time, children seem to get comfort in their efforts by the hope and expectation that mother will return.

Experts state that the mother and child are actually one unit for 21 months, 9 months within the womb, and 12 months outside the mother’s womb.

Though society tends to view the separation of mother and child as a solution to a problem, a baby will go through a lot of trauma, and some would argue, a physiological trauma, before the baby is even able to be independent of the mother. This trauma is proving to have lifelong effects in both the mother and baby. According to Empathetic Parenting:

It can cause very serious problems for a child’s emotional development.

This learned detachment will be the basis for how they develop their other relationships through out their life.

So, even though the “Positive Adoption Language” attempts to redefine adoptive parents as “mother” and “father”, the baby knows her natural family by its smells, feels, and tastes. It knows, too, that despite the adoptive “mother” and “father” language, these people are caretakers, and start off as strangers, whereas the mother is known and is instinctually trusted by her baby.

Heather Kuhn is an author who writes for Todays News and the Blogger News Network

[Edited by Simon – Added categories]

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