It is going to be the last Hoorah for smokers in the bars and restaurants of Calgary on December 31st. This wild west town is going healthy!

Where is the frontier and pioneering spirit headed? In my opinion it is going downhill.

As of 00:01 hours on January 1, 2007 Calgarians will not be allowed to puff on a cigarette while enjoying their favorite brew. Calgary is by no means the first city to enact this non-smoking regime, but it certainly is coming as a shocker to both tipplers and bar owners.

In a very un-scientific study that I conducted I Found thet:

Bar owners that agreed with the legislation   0%
Smokers who thought this was a good idea  0%
People who do not smoke or drink               100%

Pretty soon we will not be able to have any fun at all. What is next on the ban list? Pork rinds? I am sure that some study by some health conscious group will discover elevated levels of carcinogens in pig fat, and that will be the end of pork rinds.

Even worse, some Doctor will declare that M&M’s are fattening, and we should limit our consumption to one 4oz bag a week and after consumption we should exercise for 20 minutes.

Well I like to eat M&M’s in bed, and there is no way I am getting back up and work out! In fact the best improvement that M&M’s could make would be the inclusion of a small moist wipe in the package. A bag of M&M’s sure does make a mess of the sheets when you sleep on them.

My prediction on where this is all leading us is not good. By the year 2010 we will have to have a government permit to carry Twinkies, and god forbid you try to enter an airport with a raw steak in your carry on.

Simon Barrett

Be Sociable, Share!