“Sorry to call so late, Madame President, this is Vladimir Putin . . . . Please calm down . . . . This is obviously not a good time for you–let me speak with Chelsea.†Here are some reasons why you might prefer to have even Chelsea Clinton answer an emergency phone call at 3 a.m. instead of her mother.
—Chelsea is not one person today and a completely different person tomorrow. At least you know who is answering the phone. You don’t have to wonder whether you’re going to get Sugar-n-Spice Rodham Clinton, Teary-Eyed Rodham Clinton, or Rottweiler Rodham Clinton.
—Chelsea is not a consummate actress who goes nuclear over a couple of leaflets that present her opinions in an unflattering light.
—Chelsea appears to know who she is. She doesn’t look, act, or talk like someone restlessly in search of power to establish her identity.
—Chelsea is not trying to exploit the Jewish Community in a transparently phony attempt to sow discord between them and Barack Obama. As King Solomon wrote in the Hebrew scriptures, one of the things God hates is “he (she) who sows discord among brethren.”
—Chelsea does not keep lowering the bar of success for herself and raising the bar for an adversary.
—Chelsea, if she is as normal as she appears to be, can probably admit a mistake instead of trying to spin her way out of it.
—Chelsea is not shrill, angry, and unpredictable.
—Chelsea would know when she is out of her league and when to refer a phone call to someone with more expertise.
—Chelsea is not loaded down with baggage, some of it public and some of it guarded.
—Chelsea doesn’t spin like a ballerina with an ear infection.
So if you just must vote to continue the cycle of Bush and Clinton dynasties, what the heck? Write-in Chelsea. Her mother seems to have a hard time waking up.
3 users commented in " 3 A.M.? Let Chelsea Answer the Phone "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackIt’s 3am…
Reminds me of that Matchbox 20 song…
Whatever…yesterday, 29 February 2008, we were inundated with that silly political ad that insinuated Hillary Clinton (Presidential Nopeful, if I have my way) would be best to protect America while our kids are sleeping…at 3 AM.
From the safe confines of the White House foxholes, she will answer a phone…a white one at that. Sounds more like an airport courtesy phone if you ask me. She’s wearing a pantsuit…at 3 AM. But she will protect our children…by hook or by crook.
Meanwhile (fast forward reality Iraq), A Marine, soldier, freedom fighter and real protector of America’s children, while they are sleeping, is in a real foxhole, a green field phone sits by his side while his spousal unit stands by the side of his children ready to take on bad dreams or any other plethora of illnesses such as sore throat, bad cough, sickness in general etc…while mommy or daddy (read, not Hillary) stands at the ready to answer the green phone calling for the protection of America’s children….
It’s 3 AM…the green field phone remains silent…serene, peaceful.
Another meanwhile…the white courtesy phone rings. Commanderette Pantsuit answers with the proverbial “I’m here to protect your sleeping children (from the safe confines of the oral office, thanks Bill Clinton)…from terrorists, and of course those nasty Republicans who will try to steal my ability to do so by stealing my divine right to be President from me, and the common people I represent (i.e. waitresses I won’t tip)”. But, why is she only worried about protecting the children of Texas and Ohio (since the commercial only started airing the minute she really needed you guys). Last I checked the green field phone foxhole guy didn’t limit his choices (as if he had one) to just two states. Oh wait, he/she chose to represent and protect…well, America…
Correction…he had a choice, he volunteered…to protect America, but not just at 3 AM…
It’s 4 AM now…the sky is clear, the stars are pristine, the green field phone remains silent. Somewhere in America…a child sleeps. Meanwhile, Commanderette Pantsuit is prepping for Texas…
I’m a little bent…green field phone by my side, trusty M-16, locked and cocked…I can no longer resist. Shortly thereafter….”White House switchboard, how may I direct your call?”.
Wait, it’s 5 AM…is Hillary not protecting our country at this hour? “Yes, please connect me to the Commanderette in Relief”.
“You mean, the honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton? You should be worshipping her as Madam President Clinton, ya know.”
“Yeah, that’s the who I need to speak to…”
Click. Connect. “Madam President I’m here to protect you, why are you bothering me, have you heard about my mandatory, you pay regardless, healthcare program, Hillary RODHAM Clinton speaking!!! Speak, tool….!!”
“Mrs, Ms, Hillary, um whatever…not sure anymore…It’s 5 am over here in Iraq, I’m in a foxhole and I am using a green field phone so this may not come across very clearly, but if you are so interested in protecting the children of America, then why aren’t you demanding that Nancy Pelosi get her ass back from House vacation and produce a vote on the Protect America act….??”
…click…
i love to meet chelsea clinton real life to be my future partner,i wish my dreams will come true, ilove her dearly also i wants her to be my best friend in africa,thanks hassan usman muhammed bello
The post comments this site is more of emotional, so cause of cell phone we can express our feeling. tnx
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