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And if so, what are the first signs? And where do I go to get treatment? No, but seriously hardy har har, two German states are currently considering the introduction of citizenship tests for those wishing to become German citizens and it’s quite controversial at the moment and politically motivated as usual and another big deal (not) which will roll over and die in a few weeks.

But until it does, riddle me this:

1) What is the population of Germany; 95, 82 or 68 million?

2) Which of the following countries does not share a border with Germany; Poland, Italy or Denmark?

3) Which body represents the interests of the German states at the federal level; Bundestag, Bundeswehr or Bundesrat?

Get the idea? So go and try your luck and take that goofy little citizenship test at the Deutsche Welle (down there at the right in the corner somewhere). But before you schmunzel (smirk) and pat yourself on the back too much for being so clever, and I’m sure you are clever, take a minute and answer a few of these awful questions that American immigration officials have put together.

They’re easy, too. Sort of.