From Churchill’s Parrot blog
TO:
Mr. Larry Cornett
Director - Earth Religion Rights Network
http://members.aol.com/lcorncalen/erro.htm#INTRO
Miss Wren Walker and Mr. Fritz Jung
Founders– The Witches’ Voice, Inc. - NeoPagan News Network
http://www.witchvox.com
Dear Sirs and Madam … or … whatever,
We have recently uncovered a development to which we are compelled to alert you with utmost urgency. It is our belief that armies of […]

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Like most people who have heard of the now relatively eminent Gladys Hardy because of her phone call to Ellen DeGeneres and the hilarity that ensued from Ellen’s subsequent call back, I love the idea of Gladys Hardy: the sweet, little 88-year old woman from Austin, Texas. I can picture her in a rocking chair, holding an old […]

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Not actually being a cat, although I am the host for five of the furry little free-loaders, I thought I might turn this review over to them, as subject-matter experts: Percival, the little Russian Blue, Sammy, the big flame-point Siamese, Morgy (tiny and black, of no definable breed) Little Arthur (very large and black, ditto) […]

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Remember the heyday of of the romantic comedy. It usually headlined Tom Hanks with Meg Ryan, or Tom Hanks with… okay let’s just leave it at that on-screen duo.
What we get with “What Happens in Vegas” is Ashton Kutcher (That 70’s show, Butterfly Effect) paired with Cameron Diaz (Shrek, Charlie’s Angles) in an absurdly contrived […]

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Living in Austin and now Chicago you could say that I’ve been a little spoiled when it comes to the improv scene. Visiting small theatres and hole in the wall locations I’ve seen some pretty hilarious antics. From the now-defunct Austin favorite Well Hung Jury to the Chicago staple Second City, there are comedians in this country who’s improvisational […]

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“Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata!” So screams an unfortunately lascivious gynecologist in a key scene of this dark high school comedy billed as a horror film (mistakenly by reviewers, intentionally by the distributors). And from the opening scene (a twisted parody of typical suburban Americana) to the blatant title, everything about this film seems to mimic […]

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It’s all about Tony Stark, the billionaire weapons designer and CEO of Stark Enterprises.  He’s a womanizer, but you’d still let him date your sister.  He’s everything you hate about everything you stand against, and yet he oozes charm so that you just don’t care and you want to like him. More importantly, you want […]

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If you ask most Germans, and I wouldn’t if I were you, they will tell you that they want to have the Berlin Wall back. They also want the Sandmann, the World Cup, cheaper beer and gasoline, snow in the winter and Sabine Christiansen back, too (ich will, Anne Will, we all will). They will […]

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What’s wrong with everybody in Berlin these days? First tons of folks on the right side of the political spectrum fail to show up on election day and effectively sell Tempelhof down the river - and nobody even has the decency to jammern (moan) or meckern (gripe) about it later – and now the folks […]

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This discussion about lifting the ban on Hitler’s Mein Kampf in Germany, I mean. And although it’s nothing new when foreigners like me are dismayed about the fact that Mr. Psycho Man’s manifesto is still unavailable here (at least not openly and through the “proper” channels), I vaguely remember having read parts of it once […]

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Just three days following the gruesome discovery of twenty dead sheep near a derailed train in a tunnel near Fulda, German police in Thuringia have now reported finding a number of dead cows near a rail crossing in their area, too.

“We don’t want to jump to any conclusions or anything,” said one country bumpkin cop near […]

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Well, I guess it’s time to say goodbye. You know, take leave, adieu, farewell, so long, auf Wiedersehen.

Anyway, I had this strange dream last night. It went something like this:
Hermann: Now, you’ve got to listen to me! Do you have any idea what you’d have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances […]

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Tired of continually being asked “Where was the wall?” by all of those countless tourists who come to visit the city every year, a Berlin company called Mauerguide has “like had it totally up to here” or something and will start handing out hand-sized minicomputers next week which will show these annoying Quälgeister (nuisances) just […]

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So like here’s the latest and greatest only-in-Germany, help-me-because-I’m-a-victim-too-industry startup. Starting today, a group of business-savvy Berlin psychologists are opening Germany’s first advice bureau for stalkers. These guys are going to make a killing, too.

I know what you’re thinking: An advice bureau for stalkers? What, advising them how to stalk better or what? Nichts da […]

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If there’s one thing that can be said about Judd Apatow (The 40-year-old Virgin, Knocked Up) as a director, he pushes the envelope of gross out comedy. Now as producer his influence is seen and carried forward in Forgetting Sarah Mashall by introducing mainstream American Cinema to full frontal male nudity.  Twice.
If you are wondering […]

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“I’m gonna try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I’m smart on the subject.”
So says our commander in chief of the last eight years. Though he’s repeatedly proven himself less than adept at public speaking, Bush’s second term was decidedly less filled with malapropisms and times when he “misspoke” […]

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Well, actually he already was, already. But Berliners just don’t want to leave him in peace or let him rest in such and it kind of goes a little like this: There’s this subway station in Berlin called Bundestag, which happens to be near the Bundestag, some here call it the Kanzler U-Bahn (the Chancellor’s […]

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Just when you think NASA is finally getting back up on its feet again… Sheesh. Then some Klugscheißer (smart alec) 13-year-old German schoolboy comes along and double-checks their math (always a good idea, I think) and finds out that the Apophis asteroid does not in fact have a 1 in 45,000 chance of whacking our […]

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It’s true! Would hysterical conservatives lie to you about a Godless Muslim Koran-fondling wild man like Scary Barry? A man who doesn’t always wear a flag pin on his lapel? That was mighty careless of him. You’d think the Anti-Christ would be a little more devious than that. Since Christ was clearly a white American, […]

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Citizen involvement in political affairs is slowly dying.  Even with internet activism on the rise, mainly because it’s easier than actually going out and doing something, people are becoming more disjointed from the political process in their countries.  This leaves activism as a form which is found more towards the fringes of any given political […]

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In yet another futile attempt to overcome the decades of pacifism they and their fellow Germans have been forced to endure after that unfortunate World War II thing (and those rather unpleasant Nazi atrocities many still associate with it), a renegade and somewhat drunken German special forces unit has taken the initiative and attacked Great […]

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I thought they were already. Here in Germany, I mean. Anyway, thanks to “modern food preparation technology” you can now go out to eat at a place in Nuremburg where you don’t have to deal with those annoying, snooty and pesky waiters at all anymore. The machines do all of that for them now. “Jeez. […]

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Hill and Bill turn out the lights in their separate bedrooms, and the phone rings at 3 a.m. – again. This time the crisis is economic, home foreclosures mounting markets teetering. And even though the banks are closed and the NYSE won’t open for another 6½ hours, Hillary answers the phone. But wait – it’s […]

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Mend Your Misery is a collection of twelve poems largely focused on love and heartbreak. Kristofer Dommin seems to have channeled that spotty teen-angst phase that drives people to poetry, and honed it to its core. While the themes are overall pedestrian and the language commonplace, where Kristoff shines is his attention to the rhythm of the words.

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Why is this hue and cry about anti Islamic Dutch film? How long will the Muslims keep on nagging to the world about their suffering? How long one fifth of the world’s population think themselves to be inefficient? This moral lethargy of the community makes the world believe that Islam promotes violence and hatred towards […]

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Here in the Philippines, it’s “Tag-init”, the hot season that lasts from now until the monsoon hits in May.
Since a lot of our power is hydroelectric, that means less power available at a time when everyone has their airconditioner on.  The result is loss of electricity. Brownouts are not uncommon here: The electricity has been […]

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A raw March morning in Albany. The wind whistled round the Empire State Asylum for the Politically Insane. Dr. Edwards, the new chief of staff, was making his first tour of the facility. Dr. Murchison, his predecessor, was acting as guide. First up, the day room. X Governor Eliot Spitzer had slipped his restraints and was […]

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The silly season must be with us again, because two economists have done a study in Europe that correlates happiness with blood pressure. The higher the blood pressure, the less happy the people.
From a report on Medscape (registration required).
David G. Blanchflower, PhD (Dartmouth College, Hanover, New Hampshire) and Andrew J. Oswald, DPhil (University of Warwick, […]

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Obviously $200,000 of damage due to a grass fire, is not a laughing matter. And that was the case in Calgary last weekend. A grass fire in the Springbank area (just outside Calgary, Alberta) scorched more than a kilometer of tinder dry grassland and destroyed some barns, vehicles, and just about everything else. A number […]

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Dear Jericho,
It’s been a bit of a rough ride between us, but it looks like that ride is coming to an end.  Sure things started out with a bang when you destroyed Denver and twenty-two other US Cities in nuclear explosions.  We had a really great thing going until your first season winter hiatus.  That’s […]

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