Editors at the Deutsche Welle were more than a little surprised recently when another type of Welle (wave) consisting of three or four letters poured into their offices praising the politeness, generosity and even friendliness of their fellow countrymen. Immediately suspicious as to the authenticity of these letters, investigative reports Bodo Holtzwart and Karl Bernstein quickly delved into the matter and soon discovered that the Germans in question only behaved this way when thoroughly smashed to the gills.

“I mean what was that?” asked an incredulous Holtzwart when commenting about the juvenile hoax. “You could smell that one from 1.6 kilometers away. We’re not playing in the sandbox here, people. This is the friggin’ Deutsche Welle. And if we don’t know what Germans are really like, who does?”

“And besides,” added Bernstein. “If you take a closer look at that photo up there that one of these pranksters mailed in, anybody can see that the whole thing was rigged. That guy on the right is clearly French. Nice try, so-called visitors to Germany, but you’re going to have to get up a little earlier in the morning to get one like this by us. Again, I mean.”

The “Germans” on the said photo could not be reached for comment as they are unfortunately the figment of someone’s twisted imagination.

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