Berlin mayor Klaus Wowereit and other concerned and well-paid influential types formed the “Berlin Board” yesterday, an advisory committee which hopes to launch a successful international image campaign for the German capital during the coming two years. Also labeled the “Berlin Bored” by certain incorrigible smart-ass types around town, this venerable panel plans to come up with THE catchy slogan for the city, which it will then present to the public in November, whether they like it or not.

Numerous unsolicited suggestions have begun arriving at the Roter Rathaus (Berlin City Hall) already, most of them obscene and unprintable, of course. But reliable sources close to the fourth floor shredding machine were able to jot down a few of the more presentable ones before the recycling process began. These were then promptly leaked to unreliable sources like me. Here is just a small sample:

Citizens concerned about Berlin’s chronic doggie waste problem have suggested “Berlin. Just Doo It.”

Representatives from Berlin’s active Techno community think “Better Living Through Chemistry” might be the slogan to go with.

Others involved in the local tourism industry have suggested “Berlin. We Love Having You Here For Awhile” or “Berlin. The Way A Broke City Should Be.”

These aren’t all of them, of course. Those are just the worst ones. So any slogan suggestions you might have to make will most certainly be appreciated. By all means, please feel free to contribute. Do it for Berlin.

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