If dad goes for a walk with his daughter and holds her hand, apparently Virginia Department of Health officials wants you to pick up the phone and destroy his life by reporting him as a possible sexual abuser. I would’ve thought this article about this campaign was from the Onion or some satirical publication, but it’s for real.
One of the most beautiful pictures I’ve ever seen is a picture of my father walking on the beach near sunset holding my daughter’s little hand. The picture above of a man holding a child’s hand–a touching little scene–is actually supposed to make us think he’s sexually abusing the child. Unbelievable.
From Campaign advocates recognizing, reporting suspected abuse (Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, 6/21/07):
“For years, campaigns to stop child sexual crimes have focused on encouraging children to speak up about abuse.
“State health officials are trying a new tactic. The latest push, at least in Hampton Roads, is to educate adults on how to spot - and stop - sexual offenders.
“The ‘Stop It Now’ campaign - just launched locally - will urge people to call a help line if they see an adult whom they suspect of having a sexual relationship with a child.
“Billboards and posters show an adult hand holding a child’s hand, with the words: ‘It doesn’t feel right when I see them together.’
“A national help line number is listed, and through it callers can get advice about what to do.
“Rebecca Odor, who directs the sexual and domestic violence prevention division for the state Department of Health, said officials hope to reach people who might feel uncomfortable reporting a relative or acquaintance to law enforcers.
“‘We want to teach them to trust their instinct and, if it doesn’t feel right, take action,’ Odor said.”
To write a Letter to the Editor to the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot about Campaign advocates recognizing, reporting suspected abuse, click here.
Rebecca Odor’s publicly listed contact information is becky.odor@vdh.virginia.gov and 804-864-7740.
To read more on similar issues, visit Glenn Sacks’ blog at www.glennsacks.com.
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152 users commented in " If You See a Father Holding His Child’s Hand, Call the Cops! "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackOdor’s defense of this is interesting, because the billboards especially do not teach, but rather influence. This tactic is the perfect way to play on people’ perverted paranoia.
To be fair they’re not accusing every adult who holds the hand of a child to be an abuser, merely for people to ‘trust their gut instinct’. It’s a sad sad sad world we live in …. That said, if I’m walking down the road with my 3 year old nephew hand in hand, which I often do on busy roads with traffic, it better be a very big person who accuses me of child abuse … I won’t take kindly to their so-called concern or ‘gut instinct’.
honestly… that is just ridiculous!
Wow. My dad insisted on holding my hand wherever I went with him till i was like 12. I always thought it was because he was over protective. Now I know why.
Yeesh, it appears there is a concerted effort to remove the man from our society. Almost any wild accusation can land him charges for rape, with no possible defence and a flock of protesters to ruin his life. Being seen helping a child can brand him as a sexual predator. Asking a child a question can do the same thing. Now we’re supposed to believe that holding your own child’s hand is grounds for prosecution? What possible defence can the father have against such a campaign of terror? Men aren’t allowed to defend themselves against women, aren’t allowed to have relationships with women, and now they cannot even lay a claim of caring for their children? I’m ashamed to live in a world so hell-bent on villifying people for no practical reason.. it means we have almost no values left to defend.
I can see the attempt to better identify parents who are sexual abusers however - jesus - some people have intuition and some people just don’t. I can only imagine the false positive rate of such a campaign and the potential for this to be used offensively as a “weapon” to punish “enemies”. I’d like to see early statistics of false positives vs successes. We’re creating a society where being affectionate with ones own children is impossible and I wonder how THAT’s going to psychologically effect kids in the future.
Wow, this is very sad day. What should I tell my husband? Don’t hold your daughter’s hand when your crossing the street or when you bring her back home to her mother.
Not every man in the world is a pervert. What are we teaching we are teaching our children. Are our little girls not supposed to trust their father, grandfathers, uncles and so on??? Talk about starting and epidemic. Every mother in the world who hates the Father of their children, who are always looking for a way to “get back” at them are going to be throwing this out.
Even though I don’t live in VA, I felt the need to write to Ms. Odor and sent the following.
Mrs/Ms. Odor,
I feel the need to contract you to express my disgust at your current methods in the fight against child abuse. The use of an image portraying a male adult holding the hand of a female child is tantamount to declaring every father with a young child a pedophile. While I applaud you for taking every step possible to fight a despicable act, I must ask you to reconsider this particular campaign, all it does is foster feelings of unease in parents everywhere, fearing that the simple act of showing affection to their child is now something that should be scrutinized in great detail to ensure that they are in fact not a bunch of “dirty child molesters”. Your campaign does a disservice to children, parents and concerned people everywhere by including the most simple acts of affection in the category of questionable actions.
Thank you for your time,
Christopher xxxxxxxxx
Prime makes me feel all warm and cuddly: Prime threatens violence if anyone suggests something is wrong. Somehow I think that is part of the problem in the first place.
I always go by smell. You know if it just does not smell right then take action. And I must say that this new campaign has a very stinky Odor about it.
i think dirty polititians just need more votes, so they are looking for more sex offenders to blame for any problems.
The more sex offenders, the better for them
This is seriously the dumbest thing I’ve ever read…what is wrong with people these days?
The end of the article is pretty accurate…it’s just an “unfounded witch hunt.”
Rebecca Odor has molested my inner child with that ad.
Wow, I can’t even reach the article. Looks like a lot of people are outraged by this. I too think this is ridiculous. Being a father myself, I still hold my 8 year old daughter’s hand when we cross the street or walk through a crowded parking lot. I can’t discipline my children in the parking lot because there are camera’s everywhere and people might think it is child abuse, and now I can’t even hold their hand. What is the world coming too???
Ms. Odor stinks!
Darn! All the good quips have been taken already!
This is absurd!!! I am a mom of an 18 month old boy and a 4 month old girl, and my husband plays a very important role in the care of our kids. I must say, I would rather have my husband (their daddy) hold our kids hands in public than have a REAL predator grab their hand and run with them. This is a totally misdirected campaign. There has got to be a better way to target actual child predators than attacking every caring, loving adult who has a valid interest in the safety and welfare of children.
I don’t even know what to say in response to this . . . . . this isn’t Onion.com is it??? This country is definitely lost . . .
Apalling. I am betting Odor has been involved with the design of all of the Olympics logos.
This outrages me. I’m glad my son is 26. With today’s parents giving their disobedient kids a “time out” instead of a slight tap on their butts for fear of being charged with child abuse. Now it’s implied that holding their hand is perverted. Teachers walk a tight rope every day. Zero tolerance in schools now arrests a child for hugging a teacher. If the today’s rules were in place when I attended Catholic grade school, all the nuns would either be in jail or shot.
I am the mother of an 18mo old girl, and I have to say that I would be appalled if my husband DIDN’T show her the small affection of holding her hand in public. When did we start persecuting people for possible future crimes?? Are they overcome with such blind zealotry that they would rather destroy a child’s life through inquisition than allow a man to bestow affection on his children?!
I think everyone is also overlooking the fact that there is a significant number of FEMALE child molesters out there, though not as significant as the male population. What will happen win they win their “moral crusade” over men? They’ll suddenly remember that there’s a problem with the opposite sex too. Eventually, all we’re going to see is kids on harnesses (or child leashes as I have heard them referred to) with a line long enough to ensure that their “personal bubble” is adequately maintained. Our kids won’t know how to love their own children because it’s becoming criminal for us to love them.
I also agree with the person who argued that this is just a political stunt. Clearly, it has to be because the trend of measures being taken to protect them from sexual offense are going to hurt them just as much in other ways. The people writing these campaigns have absolutely no idea how to protect a child while maintaining their best interest, but they know EXACTLY how to protect and maintain their resumes.
27 June 2007Is this right?
Dear Ms. Odor,
You have now joined the Lincolnshire Elementary School Principle, Darlene Teach, who in December 2006, suspended a 5 year old kindergarten student because he kissed a little girl in his class. The incident was described as “sexual harassment” on the school form. Click here to read the press report about it.
Maybe you should add public breastfeeding mothers to your “Stop it Now” campaign. God knows what kind of sexual mayhem will occur should a mother display her breast while feeding an infant. You’d save yourself alot of money too by combining the campaign. Click here to read about the 12,000 women per year, (Per YEAR!!! On average!) accused of this heinous crime. In fact, maybe the mother is sexually abusing the child in the act of breastfeeding. There you go. Problem solved.
You know, there are probably many thousands of fathers, who abhor sexual abuse as much or more than you do … yet, they hold their daughter’s hand, out of love and out of protection (i.e. crossing the street). Thanks for throwing them into your campaign along with the sickos that abuse. I already feel my daughter is safer now that I’m afraid to hold her hand for fear of arrest. Thanks.
I am beginning to think that because of a few inbred, imbicilic, barefoot, banjo playing families in West Virginia … that all families in all the Virginias’ are the same sicko incestuous breed. Your well thought out campaign is proof.
Unus
modus ponens est alius modus tollens.
As a father of 3 grils 26,16 and 6 i think this has got to be one of the dumbest things i have ever read.
i am so glad a campain like this is not takeing place in my state. This is just more prof that the people with the lest sence
get the most atention. I will alway hold the hand of my kidds and if you anyone ever tells me im a risk to my children because i care enough to keep them safe, they will find out how willing i am to peotect them. P.S stay out of Idaho.
I can’t believe how everyone is taking this out of text. there is so much child abuse and neglect going on in this world it’s ridiculous. the majority of child molesters do less time than a drug dealer.and unfortunatly it is a proven fact that most of them are male and a family members or freind of the family. I applaud people and agencies who are trying to put light on what goes on right under people’s noses i’m not saying all men are predators all i’m saying is are children of this nation need to be protected from child molesters and are laws need to be addressed instead of a slap on yhe wrist. we as a society try to ignore what is happening becouse it’s easier that way. instead of making people regret mentioning it let’s support them. who is going to tell that five year old child that is being molested that we are blind to it or we just don’t want to see it.
However designed this campaign graphic is obviously completely out of touch with the reality of child abuse and should find themselves a new line of work as they absolutely suck at this one.
How can you proctect a child from danger if you instill a fear of their family. I belive that to protect a child is to be their mentor friend and care provider. we are awere that the numbers of reported molestaion and nothing in the world is sicker then a parent that is willing to harm their own child. But nothing is sicker or more destructive then a right wing POS building fear
in a family. if you want to help kidds then stop your 60 hour work week get off your laptops and take your family fishing or bikeing or doing something together. P.S sorry about the typo above gril is girls.
I am absolutely appalled that people are going to start looking at me funny because as a father i know am going to be scrutinized while in public with my kids. I know that the smelly lady is trying to educate, for that i thank her, however Nikki’s comments about putting a parents rights and feelings second to the emotional well being of the family unit are wrong. Either he/she was raped as a child (which i would feel bad about) or has had no positive male roll model in his/her life, and that is sad. But the first person to try that crap with me when i am out with my kids are going to get a size 13 boot where the good lord split ya!! That aside I believe it was the Nazi’s that gave a red ribbon to people for turning in their friends and neighbors for what they THOUGHT was true and not what was actually TRUE.
Thats my 2 cents. BTW i live in VA and this sux!!!
You know this is just getting worse. Iread an article about a year ago about a man whose wife had taken a picture of him kissing his infant son on his BELLY BUTTON the child was removed from their custody for EIGHTEEN MONTHS because someone in a walmart photo lab saw the picture and called police. they lost 18 months of their childs life for nothing. this campaign will do the same thing for many other people. Better to lost the important times of your child life forever than to think that maybe someone was wrong in their assumptions.
Nothing like another good dose of fear mongering. Go ahead and let the liberals take over government and you’ll see crap like this time one hundred, I promise you that. As for everyone who is about to burst a vein because of this ad, just breathe. It’s Virginia so wouldn’t you be more shocked if they didn’t put something like this up?
It figures. Once again the knee jerk reactions of paranoid people who have influance. Why not just start a campaign of turning in your fellow neighbors for anything out of the ‘ordinary’. Oh wait, thats right we already do that. What next? We gonna surrender the rest of our rights for the feeling of safty? That’s right citizens; the government has everything in your best interest, really. Oh well when they come for you there wont be anyone to protest, cause they will already be gone.
I never would have thought that someone would have the audacity to use a perfectly harmless relationship between parent and child as a way to ruin peoples lives… The idea that someone interferes is bad enough but not everyone is sick and twisted. I have had the displeasure of having CPS called on me. My children are very well taken care of and are never beaten, but someone had the audacity to call the cops on me for yelling at my kids. Enough is enough… people need to learn when to interfere not just to do it because they don’t like someone. Too many times children are taken from a parent who is living beyond their means and below the poverty line to try and keep their kids ok… enough is enough….
I’m one of those guys that kids tend to love. I’m fun, almost childlike at times. Kids gravitate to me because they laugh and just feel safe with me. And I hate it. Because I am TERRIFIED to be around kids (not my own 2, but other peoples’ kids) because all it takes is one accusation to ruin a guys reputation and his life. We are terrified of child molesters. They are a scourge on society and there are a LOT of them. A lot of kids have their lives ruined by molesters, but a lot of kids survive and get on.
This campaign is not going to save kids being molested by family members. It is only fear mongering and an attack on men in general. There are better, more effective ways to catch the pervs than to make all men into suspects. Why make all men into victims when the group of men you’re looking for is easy to find?
Next campaign, any HOT blonde teacher should be arrested right away before she seduces her class. Ridiculous.
Ah screw it. I’ll just lock myself in my house and play Plaststation every day and let my 6 and 7 year old run the streets all day long, and I WON’T hold their hand. See where that gets em. Sheesh.
The terrorists have won. We are so afraid of OUR OWN PEOPLE that we are not allowed to live with a free conscience. We have more government freedoms than many other countries, yes. But there is an element of our society that is working very hard to trap our minds into a state of constant fear.
Heaven help us.
-Sparkling
It’s just another attempt by the Gramscian left to dehumanize America. By turning this place into a zoo filled with sub-human beasts, they can play zookeeper and have ultimate control over every aspect of one’s life. This makes sense because animals of the male sex never take care of their young except in the bird world and look how easy animals are corralled.
But sadly the people responsible for this outrage are also in control of all our learning institutions, any government with a leftist majority, any church that focuses on “social justice” as its main message, and etc. etc. etc.
Don’t look to the Republican party for help either. They are just bidders for corporations now and deserve the name “neocon”. Corporations encourage this dehumanization because animals cannot resist anything that makes them feel good or that tastes good at all. For example, look how dogs salivate and beg at the sight of steak and then do whatever their owners want them to do to get a piece of it. Now look at the corporations’ marketing strategies which are filled with hedonism and that try to get a person to indulge in a bout of self gratification. For them, dehumanization is good because it allows them to harvest more money in a faster amount of time.
The above parties also stress nonviolent solutions to everything. Don’t fight back when you are attacked or when people steal stuff from you, and etc. etc. etc. They are turning us into cattle and will soon destroy the Constitution and Bill Of Rights.
The devil’s triangle (corporations, collectivist ideologues, and money-hungry politicians) is hard at work in the U.S. and is already in full control of a lot of things.
Yet a lot of “Americans” do not care about what happens to their rights or their neighbors, as long as nothing bad happens to them and they can sip their $6 lattes, water their manicured lawns, drive their hybrid vehicles and watch the latest celebrity sex tapes on the internet. I might as well forget this country, it is a caricature of its former self. The govt. is turning into the state Aldo Huxley wrote about in a Brave New World. The people turning into the one envisioned in Mike Judge’s Idiocracy.
The man in the photo is clearly fondling the little child’s hand, my gut tells me so. After all, the male hand is just a phallic symbol (actually five nasty phallic symbols). I can see the perverse intent oozing from his predatory pores. Seeing that photo makes my fingers itch to pick up the phone and ruin his life, and with a little luck the collateral damage could destroy the entire family! Who of good conscience could denounce this ad and not see it for what it is - a pure and holy light exposing the world to the pedophilic tendancy of our nation’s males. Fathers stop showing affection to your children before you completely ruin their innocence with your vile touch, if not, I for one will report you. Kudos to you Becky Odor, together we can create a nation of fatherless children, at least cold and detached (oh the good ole’days). Becky, can I count on your support for my new proposal to incarcerate males when they reach puberty? Our streets and homes could finally be safe.
Virginia Department of Health officials are about to create a “perfect” world of pervert minds, where every girl will be aterrorized each time their father approaches to them and every father walking on the streets with his daughter will be considered a criminal suspect.
This is so unbeleivable. I mean completely OUT OF CONTROL, RIDICULOUSNESS. Who the HELL does the Virginia Health Department they are? And how do they come up with an idea like this??? What is this world we’re living in? WHAT IS THIS?? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???? I’M LOST!!!!!!!!!
First, if you ever catch a real child sexual abuser and give that person a lesson in the Second Amendment…let’s just say you want me on you jury.
However, if some do-gooder ever reports an innocent person to the authorities for child sexual abuse because of their feeeeeeelings and has no objective proof other than I saw them holding hands and “it didn’t feel right when I saw them together” then I’ve got no problem with the wrongfully accused person having a few minutes alone with the do-gooder.
I hope they get flooded with phone calls about parents holding their kid’s hand in public. Why not educate the public about real objective signs of abuse? Stop watching the View and Oprah and going through life making decisions based on your feeeeeeeeelings, maybe take a logic course at the local junior college, be rational and not emotional and really make our society a better place.
Oh…wait…I’ve got a feeeeeeeeling about people who might make such a ridiculous ad campaign and their own hidden sexual perversions….excuse me while I make a phone call.
Sure, there are alot of sexual predators out and about, but half the time peoples “gut instinct” is the complete opposite of fact because half of our society is gullible idiots. Perhaps people should lay off a bit. If you see a guy walking with his daughter and theyre both happy and just being a family, people should but out and maybe think twice before ASSUMING that every 40+ year old man with a child is a pediafile.
See where the feminist left has gotten us? We’ve gone from “father know’s best” to “father is probably a molester”…Maybe when men are nothing more than wallets that mail checks to women to raise their kids we’ll finally realize what’s going on. Oh wait, that’s already happening…
I know I’m a rare occurance, but I’m a stay at home father of two boys (I’m not compelled to stay home by injury or laziness, my wife didn’t enjoy staying at home with our kids and I felt it important that someone who loved them stayed home and cared for them).
These things scare me horribly. It seems that a father could unjustly be accused and his life ruined by something like this. It’s hard enough taking my kids to school, swim lessons, baseball etc. getting playdates together for my children is very difficult because of the general lack of trust of fathers who are trying to be good fathers and not neglect their children.
The real problem is this: An accusation is made, DCFS must follow up and trust me many times they are young inexperieced social workers who are looking for a reason to remove a child. Then the parent, who has been reported to the media by name by this time, struggles for years both in the court system, and publicly in their church and community to reestablish their credibility. They also lose out for weeks, months, years while their children are unjustly taken from them. There must be better due process for this. A hunch with not backing evidence is dangerous. There’s a reason why, “It just didn’t feel right.” Would not be admissible as fact in a court of law. There is no basis for it.
Let me just pinch myself… this definitely isn’t Kansas anymore. What the hell happened to the place I grew up, the country I loved?
Sometimes its too right to be in sense.
>What the hell happened to the place I grew up, the country I loved?
Politically correct liberals took over, and emotion now rules logic and common sense.
And the public and government stand aghast at someone who’d go on
a “killing spree”,kill his family and himself instead of seeking help from society.To those I’d have to say what other options did you offer him? If he had a real problem and brought it to you,you’d destroy his family for him.
I am increasingly embarrassed by our local,state and federal
governments and their insistance on saving me from myself based on their personal ghosts,skeletons and “morality”.I truly believe
they invent the “next crisis” so someone will believe that they are doing something other than lining their pockets.
The TRUTH is out there! We are rapidly descending into a fascist police state! The Patriot Act??! RU kidding?!? 95% of terrorism is STATE sponsored - by yes, YOUR GOVERNMENT!!! Go to Infowars dot com for the TRUTH!! Before it’s TOO LATE!!! Vote for and $UPPORT only politicians whose voting record supports the basic ideals of the US CONSTITUTION!!! This is madness and we must all join together as a nation to defeat the New World Order!!
This is just another reason for every citizen to be armed and vigilant. All government agents should be killed on sight, especially the ones who interact in any way with the citizenry.
Firstly, the psychotic control-freaks in society should remember that innocent people’s lives have been ruined undeservedly on wild accusations, innocent people have been falsely imprisoned for years without apology by the State or the accuser on the false testimony of children, innocent people have been terrorized by the government from false or unfounded claims, and innocent people have been driven to kill themselves as a result of the harassment of a false accusation.
Secondly, children must be protected from harm if they are actually being harmed.
Thirdly, the Constitution states very clearly that “The burden of proof is on the accuser” and “the accused have the right to face their accuser”. Encouraging domestic terrorism campaigns and criminally harassing the innocent on the sole basis of “bad feelings” reeks below the legal standing of “spiritual accusers” (being accused by supernaturally obtained information as happened during the Salem Witch Trials). The unfounded witchhunts of today’s “radical paranoid idiot with a gang of like-minded radical paranoid idiots” are far too destructive to the moral fabric of our society. Adult parents cannot even make any public physical contact with their children for purposes of compassion or correction without risking a false accusation of sexual abuse, physical abuse, or even kidnapping. Meanwhile the protected anonymous accuser is never held to legal Constitutional standards of proof for any accusation (thusly allowing meritless claims to be treated with the same respect as necessary legally submitted documents and then having wild claims flood the justice system, tie up the police force’s time & money on harassing innocents, and diluting the funds for worthwhile legal interventions).
Fourthly, a simple truth is that although many rapes go unreported, that 50% of the rapes that are reported are proven false accusations. These false accusations (which curiously never result in equally harsh punishments for the false accuser as has been served by the falsely imprisoned people) also waste money, time, and ruin people’s lives unjustly and criminally. False accusations without requirement of proof of a crime are basically DOMESTIC TERRORISM and should be treated with the same level of contempt as any other terrorist. All a foreign terrorist would have to do would be to call up the police and make false accusations of child sexual abuse against any innocent stranger or all innocent strangers and they would sap the resources devoted to protecting. A worthless busybody with a grudge and a twitchy 911-dialing finger is pretty much unleashing terrorism against innocent Americans and using the government services to enact and fund their terrorist deeds. Any police force or private club encouraging “gut feeling” accusations against innocent strangers is basically a organization of domestic terrorism acting in violation of our Constitution and our American Legal System.
Finally, as American citizens I humbly demand you stand up for your Constitution and shut these domestic terrorism and false accusation criminals down immediately by all legal means possible. You should contact Homeland Security and ensure that the criminals declaring “gut feelings” are sufficient legal burdens of proof to engage in a campaign of harassment of innocent Americans in violation of the Constitution and the legal protections of “Burden of Proof being on the Accuser”, “Innocent Until Proven Guilty in a Court of Law”, and the illegal protection of “Anonymous Tipsters” (who have the freedom without any punishment and cost for false accusation to utilize the American government as a tool of harassment, terrorism, and false imprisonment). Rebecca Odor should be in jail under “encouraging domestic terrorism” charges and fired from her job for cheering on “Gut Feeling” false claims (domestic terrorism) of innocent Americans.
I took my two grandsons, ages 6 and 3, to Dollywood today. And yes, I did hold their hands at times. It frightens me to know that someone might consider this sexual abuse and report me to the authorities. In my opinion, NOT holding their hands could have been a form of abuse. Are we getting so paranoid that we can no longer show love and concern?
God, I see literally dozens of child molesters picking up children after school and putting them into minivans. I had NO idea. They even have child seats for the infants they molest! The molesters even have brainwashed the children to call them “mom” or “dad”. I’ll be making a few calls tomorrow as I stop by the local school to watch for them, on my way to the XXX shop where I work.
I can just hear the gears turning in the same liberal minds that think it takes a village to raise a child…
a shame that those folks haven’t figured out that it takes PARENTS!
And, not some puke in the pen and a whore for a momma!
BK Delong:
You don’t have to wait for that study, it’s already been done. Kids raised on Israeli kibbutz communes in “youth dorms” back in the 60’s and 70’s away from the care and loving attention of their parents had an alarmingly high incidence of mental illnesses and social dysfunction. And no one even claims they were abused - their caregivers, each shift, were concerned and caring adults. But they had little in the way of personal affection, hugs, kisses, hand-holding, and other normal skin-to-skin contact that a child NEEDS for normal development. And now the paranoid liberal family-haters in this country want to make a whole generation of these defective kids who are unable to form attachments to other people. Unbelievable.
WHAT has happened to the U.S.A? Can anyone explain to me why our country can’t be reasonable? Why do we INSIST on destroying ourselves? Granted, the billboard is a good thing to have, but how many people out there are going to be afraid to hold his/her own child’s hand without fear that we’re hurting them. We can’t spank our kids anymore? Did anyone else notice that as soon as it became “wrong” to spank our kids that we started going downhill fast? If we do not do something besides sit on our fat asses and let it happen, then expect it to get MUCH worse. It’s up to you people.
Watch the movie ANTZ, maybe you’ll realize that the people are more powerful than you think.
It won’t be too long before fathers will be arrested for changing their infants’ diapers, because, as we all know, nothing turns us men on more than a baby covered in sh*t!
Are you kidding? When will people begin holding those who come up with this kind of program accountable? If you’re so unhappy about what Odor, and those of like mind, are doing to destroy the trust children have in their parents by encouraging this kind of action then orgainze yourselfs to have that person removed from any kind of authority. It doesn’t take a genius to observe that anyone who comes up with a campaign like this has lack of common sense and have demonstrated the inability to act responsible. If you don’t act against the authors of such a destructive campaign you absolutely deserve the consequences of its implimentation.
Isn’t time to hold public servents accountable? This doesn’t just include Odor, but her boss and all the way up to the executive level of your state government. If they don’t stop it, then vote them out of office and see if there’s someone in VA who can protect your children without rolling out a campaign of terror against displays of familial love.
Hey it’s jamal again, just wanted to say thanks for the bikes.
Ultimately it’s down to fear mongering…. I call it the Cheney affect, but then that’s me. During his inaugural speech FDR said “You have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Now, the AWOL, and Draft Dodging, Republicrats (Demacans?) would have you know that, “You have nothing but fear”
@digger. Nothing happened to the USA. It’s just been abandoned for the NCSA (neo-con States of America). Note too, that ONLY a male is capable of child abuse. If a woman is seen holding a childs hand that’s OK. After all a women would never abuse a child (*cough* *cough*) Only men abuse, women are just victims of abuse expressing their angst.
From reading the related article it is obvious that they are speaking to people who know friends, family members, etc., that are suspicious or get a bad feeling about a relationship they see between a child and an adult. They are saying if you suspect that a child is being sexually abused, please don’t just sit by quietly. No where does it say that if you see a father holding his child’s hand that you should report him. It seems unreasonable to assume that it is the behavior and the relationship that they are targeting. The person who posted the story put an inflamatory tag on it and that caused an irrational response. What other picture do you think they should use. Many molesters groom their victims to convince them to comply. The victims sometimes really love the molester. The graphic is not out of touch with reality. Sexual abuse thrives in secrecy and is way more common than most people believe. I would hope that the people on the hotline would know what the red flags are and what is just a callers misunderstanding.
This is a prime example of why people should not trust ‘big brother’, this Rebecca Odor is an example of big brother gone amok. People always like to say, “why should I worry, I have nothing to hide”, perhaps you do and you don’t even realize it. It’s very easy these days to become and enemy of the state and every day we relinquish more and more control to the civil servants like Rebecca, that rule our lives.
WTF.
Death indeed for anyone who makes the mistake of reporting ME for holding MY daughter’s hand. I will NOT bow down to the current PC overlords and liberal FEEL-GOODS. Enough of this crap already!
I’ve taken the liberty of reporting Ms Odor to the state public health office, as she obviously has some sexual feelings about children.
Child abuse IS a problem, but it’s not anywhere near as bad as it is made out to be. The news of abuses reaches much further now than it ever has in the past, so it is commonly percieved to be a problem on the rise. The truth is that you children are no more or less likely to be abused than they ever have. These campaigns are simply ways for people to get funding and have a job. it is their job to make you terrified for the well being of your kids, and they are paid handsomely for it.
it’s not even just parents they’re talking about here. I grew up in a REALLY large family, and at family functions the uncles and cousins and parents and kids all generally did stuff together. Parents are so god damn terrified their kids are going to get kidnapped they won’t let them leave the house alone, won’t let them have sleepovers, won’t let them basically do all the things i did when i was a kid. Soon, the only people these kids will ever be able to socialize with are their parents. They won’t even be allowed to hang out with uncles or cousins at family functions, or the uncles and cousins will feel uncomfortable doing so. it’s sad, really, and i pity any child currently in elementary school right now. Odds are they’re missing out on all the dirty, bloody, painful and otherwise generally unhealthy activity that makes childhood so great.
“s there is a concerted effort to remove the man from our society.”
what utter tripe. And I say that as a straight 40 year old white male. We still make more money than women for the same jobs. It’s still considerably easier for us to get a given job as it is for a woman with comparable qualifications. All positions of power — CEOs, politicians, etc. — still contain a considerable over-representation of males. Isn’t a little premature to worry about men being eliminated from society, when women aren’t nearly at par yet?
Oh well, at least you’re helping to prove that the stereotype about women responding to things hysterically while men are more stoic is totally false. Oh, and you’re helping to prove that you are a complete idiot, just in case you missed the tone of my post.
All that said, I agree that this campaign is ridiculous and dangerous and just plain wrong — but entirely the sort of thing you would expect from Americans.
for a country that has so much freedom, u guys sure have alot of rules telling u how to live! maybe u all should find better leaders. leaders that are harder on criminals that do just perverted crimes. i can only feel pity for the fathers and children that will be affected by this law. but i will cherish the moments i have with my children knowing that i have the freedom to hold them, kiss and love them to the best of my ability without some nazi goverment agency asking the general public to watch me like i am a sick animal. move to South Africa and get all the freedom u have lost in your own country.
lol @ all the “evil liberal” comments on this board. You people do realize that there are oversensitive vote-panderers who will push these types of measures on BOTH sides, right? Jesus people, not everything is a “Loony Liberals” vs. “Crazy Conservatives” issue. The divide and hate I see between (mostly idiots on message boards) people in the US these days is absolutely insane, especially when you look at the fact that most Americans of both parties agree on the overwhelming majority of issues.
That said, this ad campaign is a little nutty. I don’t think it’s saying “report anyone holding a kid’s hand”, but it is inevitiably going to lead some overly paranoid neighbors to start reporting the family next door because the dad/mom has a tattoo or a beard or doesn’t dress or act according to what they consider to be “proper standards”.
This is a system out of control. For the last 25 years or so, we have watched as parents told they cannot disciplined there children. Look around you, these children are taught in school how to protect themselves from an attacker. Knowing this, these same children use this knowledge to blackmail adults when it comes to their being disciplined for what actions they did to be punished. It is so easy to pick up the phone and make a claim that daddy or mommy touched me in my private areas. This leads to a family being shattered, just for the child’s revenge.
We see today where preschoolers are being arrested and charged with “sexual harassment” when these same toddlers have absolutely no idea the “actions” they did to lead up to the destruction of there lives. What next? Will it get to the point that giving birth has both victim (Mommy) and offender (Infant) , along with the nurses, doctors, spouse, others and charged with conspiracy to commit a sex offense (Sexual Battery). Ridiculas you say? When it has come to arresting 3, 4, 5 y/o for a registrable sex offense, this looks more and more possible. If this fiction ever happens, run for the boarders for the collapse of this country is not that far behind.
GOD HELP US ALL…..
This is great for real pedophiles like me: whilst you are all looking the wrong way, arresting fathers, we can be there to hug your daughter and make it all better :p
It seems people in the world are saddest and helpless who cannot fight such stupid laws, One man fought for independence for his country and others supported him, why cant all people come together and fight with these law makers who are saddest who have total control on every living or dead. That is possible only if u unite and fight.
Guess we better not go to that state with out 14 yr old autistic daughter. We hold her hand to keep her safe and give her comfort because she has spells of psychosis that crop up… Don’t want to end up in the slammer.
This is far from being amusing, don’t get me wrong, I’m disgusted by the whole thing, what is amusing is the comments left by Nikki above. It speaks volumes that someone who can’t even use basic punctuation, grammer or spelling can’t understand that this is going to do more harm than good, this is nothing but a campaign for the uneducated.
I was abused as a child, and have been the victim of several rapes later in life, so yes, I’m over emotional, over sensitive and more than a little paranoid, yet, some how, even I can see that this is nothing short of pathetic. So the guy next door plays his music too loud, you ask him to turn it down and he doesn’t, next day he’s walking his daughter to school, oh great, lets shop him for child abuse. How about your ex husband who has shared contact with your daughter? He left you for a younger, thinner, more attractive woman, he must be up to something dodgy when he grabs the kids hand to stop her running under a bus.
I don’t trust anyone, not my husband, not my father, no one, but to use such blatant scare tactics is as irresponsible as ignoring a childs complaints about someone you love because you just can’t see them doing such a thing. This does nothing but allow people to be victimised for caring for their child. If someone thinks something is wrong, they’ll report it or ignore it, images like the one above will not change a persons actions if they suspect something, at best it will force more family break ups because of the additional stressed put on parents.
I went to the Pilot Online site and then linked over to the program’s site. Gave them some Feedback, I did. I also asked them what my Dad’s supposed to do when my 7-year old gives him “stinkeye” in public. Just let her “do her thing” so he doesn’t get questioned?!? This is just a disgusting advertising program. Someone was either off their meds or high as a kite…
The irony of all of this hype and hysteria about sexual predators is that the only people who are losing sleep over it are paranoid, delusional parents who have NO idea how to raise their kids, and people who create sensationalistic campaigns like this. Do you think pedos are suffering? No. The really interesting thing is that these crusades are usually started by WOMEN. Strangely enough, it is WOMEN who spend 90% of the time with CHILDREN. Strangely enough they never acknowledge that many pedophiles are WOMEN. I see a conspiracy here! Still, I rest easy in the knowledge that all this bullshit they have created is all slowly turning around to come back and bite them on the ass.
You people are playing ‘chicken little’. No one is saying that you cannot hold your kids’ hands and no one is going to call the cops on you. And if, and when it does happen, cops aren’t stupid. I can easily prove that my kids are mine, not someone elses. Nothing in life changes so quick being paranoid about this. This is the same type of paranoria that people had 20 years ago when the American public worried about not being able to spank your kids in public. I spank my kids in public and no one’s complained and I could care less if they did. Hell, now days I get compliments for actually giving a sh!t. Carry yourself well in public and show good judgement and you’ll be respected. How you look and act means a lot to people around you.
All I have to say is that Rebecca Odor is very aptly named. She stinks!!!
I was abused in my childhood (age 11), or at least one time my grandfather tried it, but luckily I could run away. He didn’t hold my hand, didn’t take me into the public. He simple just tried it when nobody was in the room, and my grandma was making food. And the worst of all I couldn’t speak about it. I knew they wouldn’t have believed it… From that time I was very-very carefull not to be alone with him.
But this Odore-ideia is a shit. The parents should take their children’s hands. They should love them, in public and in private… There are always stupid ideas about how should we live, how should we act… If the children don’t get hugs, kisses, they can have more kind of mental illnes..
How long till we’re not allowed to raise our kids anymore? Seriously, we’re maybe a decade away from having to ship our children to some sterile institution where government mandated “teachers” raise them to be cogs, because child abuse happened that one time and everyone is now afraid of themselves. I’m hoping that this is just one really terribly executed marketing idea, and not the way life is headed. My marketing experience tells me it’s just a stupid billboard made by someone who barely made it through art school.
I wish my dad still touched me like that
I am 25 years old, I recently got married, and we are talking about having a baby. It scares me to think that the feminist movement has gotten so out of hand, that a man is no longer a valuable and intricate part of family. My father died when I was two (so I really never knew him), however my dad (step) came along three years later, and is not only a role model for me, but also for my three sisters and my brother. When I was 16 I got into a fight with him, a huge fight about something or other. I told him I hated him(remember I am sixteen at the time), he grabbed me and hugged me and told me that he loved me. That moment changed my life, I learned something no one else had ever taught me. Good parents have unconditional love for their children. My dad was the first to hold my hand, but he was also the first to spank my butt if I got out of line. I wouldn’t be half the man I am, if my dad wasn’t in the picture. Now what really bothers me about this add, is that it is a man’s hand! Why?
Yes, just like Peter Foyle said, this is great news for us “real” pedophiles who LOVE girls but do NOT want to molest/abuse them (since that is contrary to loving them). While society is off reporting the poor souls who hold their child’s (or their child’s friends, other relative) hands either to help them safely cross the street, or to make them feel better after a bad experience, us “real” pedo’s should be able to hang out at the playground with them. And what will we be doing there with them? Oh, just things like pushing them on swings, helping them on the monkey bars, and talking and listening to them. Definitely sounds perverted and like abuse to me - I guess the next step will be to ban men from playgrounds…
Doesn’t it seem like every day these groups seem more and more like terrorists? I can’t go online for fear that I might pick up the same IP as a pirate who logged off seconds ago and the RIAA/MPAA sues me for hundreds of thousands without a lick of evidence. I can’t hold my child’s hand while walking in a busy area because for fear of someone calling the cops on me for being a pedophile. I can’t bring drinks onto the plane for fear of being detained for several hours and missing my flight because some politicians with weak grasps on science think it’s possible that you can whip up a bomb with two liquids in a matter of minutes.
Can someone tell me when I can stop living in fear from my own people? It was so much simpler when the threat was from the outside.
My first reaction to this was “Those insane fear mongering paranoid Red State NeoCon bastards have really lost it this time” Then I stared reading the posts. I’m sure that for everyone who reacted as I did there was another who thought “Those Liberal Politically Correct Etc. Etc. bastards have really lost it this time” Where the hell has the middle ground gone in this country? Why has our sense of common cause, not to mention common sense in general vanished? I think we can all agree that child molestation is bad. I think we can all agree that this campaign is at best stupid and at worse horribly dangerous. I propose we set aside out political differences, join together for the sake of the common good and metaphorically stomp on Ms. Odor with both feet.
Maybe Mrs. Oder is basing all of her program on her own family.
Good thing there is at least a child in the picture. Otherwise we’re reduced to basically saying “In the interests of making THE CHILDREN and society safer, call the cops anytime you see a man who “doesn’t feel right”. I personally can’t wait to be arrested for someone else’s arbitrary emotional response to my presence!
Comment from Me
Date: June 27, 2007, 5:33 am
“Wow. My dad insisted on holding my hand wherever I went with him till i was like 12. I always thought it was because he was over protective. Now I know why.”
Hahahahahahaha…………
Im glad someone put this into perspective….. well done
Miss Stink,, sorry Miss Odor,,
Are you a just a run of the mill pervert who makes a lot of fuss just so you can have more people tell you titillating stories?
To all those who agree with the ad and say it is an incentive for people to trust their gut feelings and their instincts, you may want to know what that kind of instinct did recently in France, with the infamous Outreau trial : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outreau_trial
That campaign is a shame, and men are too often being suspected of being sexual predators.
One of the most beautiful pictures I’ve ever seen is a picture of my father walking on the beach near sunset holding my daughter’s little hand.
I wouldn’t suspect a 60 year old to be a child molester.
You’ve got to be kidding me. So what now? A father can’t hold his child’s hand when crossing the street or trying to stay together in a mall? What else can they do? Buy a leash for them? Please!!
Oh, so just because he’s holding his child’s hand and walking down the street and you have a bad feeling about it, means that it’s okay just to report them as a possible sexual offender? This is going overboard.
He’s a father, he wants to protect his child, Get Over It.
To “Ken”, who posted yesterday: I take particular offense to your characterizations of West Virginians, sir. This is what is wrong with America in this new age of stifled rights and paranoic finger-pointing thuggery. The human race should be evolving into a more enlightened species, yet, here is an example of the regressed state of our being. You are just as narrow-minded as the people who have contrived this egregious attack on men (and I’m sure that some women will be jack-booted off to jail) that show affection to their children. Who knows what possessed this beauracrat to come up with this campaign. I think I have an idea, but it is “odious” at best. Ms. Odor…PLEASE CALL YOU FATHER
I meant: Please call YOUR Father. WE know you’re no Father.
Respond to Greg McClung:
Let’s see. Go back to school and take some English.
Metaphor:
a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (as in drowning in money); broadly : figurative language —
Ms. Odor says: Some fathers abuse. Therefore take a photo of any father holding a childs hand. Thus all fathers abuse.
My response: Some families are inbred in West Virginia. Therefore all Virginia families are inbred. Thus they all sleep with their own.
Of course this is ridiculous. Thus Ms. Odor campaign is ridiculous.
But of course, Greg, you don’t read carefully enough to understand the metaphor.
Ken
Maybe they should start banning breast feeding or changing children’s diapers too!!!!
Do these campaigners realize that school shootings, which happen only in this part of the world, come from kids that are completely out of touch with society? Have they factored in how many such depressed kids they’ll be brooding with their campaign?!
I am beginning to see the wisdom in home-schooling and just doing everything for my kids within the confines of a “safe haven” called home and cut out interaction with the rest of the world that is already in hell!
Sorry to say most people are to dumb to be trusted, i.e any arab and some paranoid old person now days. Also does the fact that I change my daughters diaper make me a threat too, or a good father that actually enjoys helping my wife equally.
As a 77 year old father of three and a grandfather of three, I won’t ever open the front door, anytime, that small children, ring the doorbell.
Okay, I can understand everyone’s disgust with this issue. However, the bigger issue is the fact that sexual abusers, child molesters, and rapists are a HUGE problem that is largely ignored in our society. Even those that are convicted (which are few and far between) generally serve five years or less, if they get jail time at all (as many get house arrest). Perhaps if we spent more time punishing those who are actually committing these crimes, there would be no need for this kind of action. Unfortunately, many people choose to turn their heads, accuse the victim (or more accurately, the survivor) of lying, or blame the victim, assuming they did something to initiate or provoke the sexual abuse.
I’m certainly not saying that I agree with this type of call to action-as it will only perpetuate the stereotype that this doesn’t really happen. Because what will come from this is a whole slew of false accusations. It will turn the whole issue into a witch hunt that will inevitably destroy any hope we may have had for progress on this issue.
What planet are you living on. The feds are sentencing people to 10 to 20 years because they have “child porn”, which now can indclude young girls in bikini’s if in a suggestive pose. The retards who came up with this campaine also raised the mandatory minimums to 25 to life for real rape and 10 years if your still a teen having sex with another teen. I guess this lady is not getting enough sex crimes to prosecute so she is trying to get people to make stuff up to get her in the news as the “child protector.” This will never stop real sex abuse, but will increase the amount of prosecutional abuse by law enforcement.
The picture above of a man holding a child’s hand–a touching little scene–is actually supposed to make us think he’s sexually abusing the child. Unbelievable. - glenn sacks
This is what I saw too, a man holding a child’s hand, possibly a father, uncle, grandfather, family friend, teacher or priest. Yet as I read the comments the focus is on fathers, but when I went to the Stop It Now website I found nothing that stated males only or wording that specifically targeted fathers, rather “Warning Signs For An Adult With Sexual Behavior Problems.” One individual was brave enough to take the focus from a reaction point of view to a responsive point of view stating, “unfortunatly it is a proven fact that most [sexual predators] are male and a family members or freind of the family” but possibly rather trying to find a solution “children of this nation need to be protected from child molesters and are laws need to be addressed instead of a slap on yhe wrist…..we as a society try to ignore what is happening becouse it’s easier that way.”
So instead of sitting at our computers, posting blogs and comments that have been triggered by the perspective of the author, I ask you one thing….join forces and help the fight to end violence in general….although, it is a difficult task to do, when people are upset by the image above because it doesn’t include or depict their own relationship with the children in their lives. They end up frustrated and/or angry to the point that some individuals are adding to are social violence by thinking that some individuals have taken it as far as possibly sending threatening e-mails to R. Odor or anyone else involved with this campaign…..
Normative change isn’t easy…..but all of this has risen not by the healthy relationships fathers have had with their child but by that one rotted apple that unfortunately has spoiled some others in the basket….I can sit here and type that I think the men that responded to this blog are all sexual predators or I can see them as positive male role models that are potential men with the courage and strength to join the movement of ending social violence, which i think is a responsive versus reactive.
how many of you checked out the campaigns website prior to posting your comment? just remember this: Warning Signs For An Adult With Sexual Behavior Problems. Maybe the campaign should have multiple posters to include a female to depict women sexual predators or two children holding hands to depict juvenile sex offenders…..I believe the poster did its job….it made all of you more aware of child sexual violence and to think about sexual predators in general whatever gender, age or ethnicity…..
*Navie,*
the problem is that the billboard isn’t depicting “warning signs” or listing information. It’s an image of an adult holding the hand of a child. It’s meant to influence rather than inform. It goes beyond promoting “awareness” into fostering paranoia. People are already quite aware of the existence of sexual abuse. This billboard’s image would have you thinking about the problem to the point that you see a potential pedophile in every male touch. It’s most unfortunate that the Virginia Department of Health chose this image. Gosh, that man doesn’t “look right” with that child. How many people will make phone calls because a man “looks funny” or because they have an axe to grind? No, this billboard will do nothing but promote harm. I say that as someone who has two victims of abuse in my extended family. Even I see the danger in the choice of that image.
The USofA is resembling Nazi Germany more and more every day. Neighbors and family members reporting “suspicious activities”, misinformation campaigns instilling fear in the populace, the very foundation of our government (the Constitution) being set aside in the name of “national security”. The list goes on and on.
When will America wake up to what’s happening and demand government SERVICE versus SUPPRESSION and MANIPULATION?
FedUp,
You are right on target with your post.
I’m 59 years old with two grown children.
I’m not so “Navie” as to place myself in any situation with any child.
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to show love for my Grandchildren if I’m
ever so blessed with one?
Someone called the police on me when I took my seven year old daughter to the park. We were going for a walk on the trail but first she wanted to play on the playground. I told her 15 minutes. When time was up I called her name. She came over and gave me a high-five and off we went. About 20 minutes later we were stopped on the trail by two officers. We were separated and questioned. It wasn’t until they talked to my wife and had her come up to identify us that they released us.
Needless to say we don’t enjoy our time in that park anymore. I am now always second guessing everything I do. Its a scary time to be a parent. After all everyone else knows how to deal with your child better than you do.
I emailed Ms. Odor the day I saw this article. My email to here is posted in a comment somewhere above. Today I received a reply back, and while I’m sure it’s a carefully crafted and generalized statement sent to everyone who emailed her, I have yet to see it posted. So for all to read….
Thank you for telling us your concerns about our ad campaign to prevent
child sexual abuse. The campaign focuses on encouraging people to trust
their “gut” feelings and to notice and acknowledge when they feel
uncomfortable about how an adult they know is interacting with a child. The
campaign encourages them to call a confidential national helpline to give
them a place to talk about their concerns and determine how to take action
to keep kids safe.
In Virginia 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have been a victim of childhood
sexual abuse. Most offenders are male (89%), but most males are not
offenders. Almost half of the offenders are related to the child.
We understand your concern that because of the increased awareness generated
by the campaign, a stranger may mistakenly accuse a father of inappropriate
behavior.
However, over the 18 months of the campaign in Virginia, the helpline staff
has not received any calls from someone who perceived handholding as a
warning sign of abuse.
I know that we share the same goal of preventing the sexual abuse of
children and appreciate your feedback on the campaign. I hope this
explanation clarifies that the campaign’s purpose is to encourage adults to
take action to protect children at risk for sexual abuse.
Again, thank you for your comments.
—–
Rebecca Odor
Director of Sexual & Domestic Violence Prevention
Division of Injury and Violence Prevention
Virginia Department of Health
“Navie”, I agree wholeheartedly that there should be an end to violence of any and all sorts. How about we start with wars waged to benefit Korporate Amerika’s bottom line? Our government has become so corrupted by special interests and big money that it doesn’t deserve to be called a “democracy” any longer. The importance of “John Q Public” has been forgotten.
There WILL be a second American Revolution. Whether it takes place at the polls or in the streets depends on those in positions of power.
BTW, I am USMC Retired, VietNam era. My heart aches in my chest every time I see another maimed Iraq/Afghanistan vet coming home. And not all the wounds are visible. I’m still trying to deal with mine.
Until the people of America stand up and demand complete visibility and accountability of their government things like this foolish child abuse prevention campaign will simply multiply as they play right into the hands of the fear mongers and create paranoia, diverting public attention from other issues they want ignored.
Call me a conspiracy nut if you like. All I ask is that people wake up and look at what used to be a rose garden, now turned into a wasteland by (guess who).
I walked across a bridge on a busy street last night. To protect my shirtless six-year child from the traffic, I was holding his hand. I wonder how many instinctual feelings I aroused amongst the passers-by.
I also wonder how many of the commenters, here, who have expressed their outrage and discomfort with this one piece of this odious campaign, will also tune in next week or whenever for the latest installment of “To Catch a Predator.”
There’s little difference, after all, between those two components of the same crusade.
Mark
PS Thank you for being willing to attach your name to this piece. Soonly enough, that, alone, may be enough to cause someone to “follow their instincts” - which, is too bad, since it seems you have at least one child.
Anyone can report anyone for alledged child abuse anonymously and without fear of retribution. The next time someone sees Ms Stinky Odor with a child, help is just a phone call away.
Disgusting.
I take my little brothers and little cousins to the park all the time, and living in a neighborhood where there are frequent car accidents and and shady activity, there’s no way I’m not holding the young ones hand while we walk. And a billboard suggesting people should be suspicious of that is crazy. I’m all for the prevention of molestation and other crimes against children but I think there needs to be a better image to represent “Go With Your Gut”.
I don’t care what anyone says…holding a “childs” hand in public is never a sign of abuse. Now a teenager…
I agree with Jeff up toward the top. Rebecca does have a VERY pungent ODOR - Fishy!
These people, YES “these people” like this Odor must have it on HER mind to do the things she assumes others are going! This is a SICK person folks……AND…..she holds a trusted state level position…..
Yes Virginia, there really is a Santy Claus and he’s molesting little girls!
Sleep tight Virginia
I totally disagree! My dad disagrees. And what? Is he supposed to hold my leg? And my mom also laughed of how much of that is rediculouse! I mean honestly, there ruining the love of a good hearted father and the child. So many fathers love and care of course protect there children or child! My father is my absolute hero and even though i’m older then i’m supposed to hold my dad’s hand i would do it all the time to save the love between us. What your doing is SICK! How could you think that? Maybe that persons not the father, what if hes some molester? Maybe? All i’m saying is the child to a father is the most important human in the world to them and they wouldnt want to her him/her!
It is amazing how insecure and self-centered men can take any image and immediately assume that the image is about them. The image in this poster is not of a decent or loving father’s hand, it is a child molester’s hand. That is what the text over the picture implies. If you are a descent man, this poster isn’t about you. If you are a child molester, you have something to be offended about. So, for all of you offended men ranting here… what exactly are you offended about?
I keep telling my friends that I will never ever, never ever ever, never ever ever ever live in that azz-backwards state of Virginia. It’s just scary conservative to me. They’re basically bringing back modern day lynch mobs.
I’m 17. I don’t live with my Dad, but I still love him very much - when we go out, he holds my hand. Is there something wrong with that? It makes me feel so much more secure, if anything!
“It is amazing how insecure and self-centered men can take any image and immediately assume that the image is about them.”
Nice strawman. Noone is saying that.
“The image in this poster is not of a decent or loving father’s hand, it is a child molester’s hand. That is what the text over the picture implies. If you are a descent man, this poster isn’t about you. If you are a child molester, you have something to be offended about. So, for all of you offended men ranting here… what exactly are you offended about?”
Child molesters, regardless of their actions, are human, and therefore look exactly like everyone else. The image is probably NOT of a real molester, and could (unless you recognize that hand) be anyone. It is uninformative at best, and disingenuous at worst.
Really is going to put one of my sons in a bad light..not only does he have a daughter, he is Mr. Mom and takes care of all of his children. He changes diapers, bathes them (horror of all horrors), cooks, takes them to soccer, baseball, playdates.
Thank doG I don’t live in VA; however, SC will probably follow along.
I am sorry that so many people think all males are perverted. We are being required to live in a LAND of FEAR, and as such, the family unit will be destroyed, and Big Brother will take over. Communist Country, anyone.
I am a father and has three yong boys. I unfortunately married a woman from the Ukraine who did betray me terribly and followed a system what is called Green Card Hunters or I call it the Green Card Criminal Manula. In these system what the Russian and Ukrainian women do is to falsify abuse against the American husband and accuse him of abuse so they file a Protective From Abuse and go to the shelter and tehn they are 100% protected and actually they get a VIP treatment to get their US Residency Green Card effortlessly by filing an application called a spouse of an abused or battered US citizen and so they get the green card without the husband involvement and nothing can stop it and the husband can not defend himself or anything. They don’t need to proove any actual abuse or anything only the police report and the Protection from abuse. I talk about that here becasue, I was a victim of a false abuse and lived terrible years of my life that cost me destruction of two businesses I had, financial losses, stress and ruined my reputation to try to defend myself against all the false accusations. I was 100% innocent but took about 2 years for all the legal system. I can assure you that I lost a lot of my friends even from my own church that I spent over 15 years in and even until today I know that many still look at me as an abuser whether I was proven innocent or not. I experienced first hand that I as a man was considered an abuser really whether was proven innocent or not. In fact it enfluenced everything. It was amazing that the police report was completely errors even when got the testemony of a Family Physician a friend of us who was present at that time that really twisted that. We had mediators and even they were men mediators it was really amazing that one mediator wrote in his conclusion report I am an abuser and everything she accused me of like living with a girlfriend and even made my education which I have a Master Degree in Nursing to a Bachelor degree instead but that mediator did not stated them as she said so, rather what she said he stated as facts. It was really amazing. Even now I have custody issue with her that she wants to change custody in her court filing her lawyer stated I have history of abuse and court cases without mentioning that I was declared 100% innocent and that is 7 years later and still hunt me. I would imagine if my boys are girls, I am sure I would have been accused of child abuse as well for sure. In fact she called her friend in the morning using my cellular phone as the phone calling record and told her I kidnapped my children before I even left the house while I was still asleep. So, what I want to say that it is really a tragedy now that it is so easy to accuse a man of abuse whether it is child abuse or woman abuse all to gain advantage at the court espicially in divorce cases. The devastating effect on the falsely accused father or man it is really too negative and the consequences for many years to come. It was my dream, my hope and aspiration to build a family and to raise children with affectionate parents; however, my first hand expereince being a victim of false abuse accusations scares me to death.
What I have pointed is my fear and false accusations did not come from strangers, but my own wife becasue she had personal interests to achieve such as child custody, and getting the US Green Card. Just about all fasle abuse cases are done from the wife or the girlfriend against the husband or the boyfriend and the majority are initiated from the wife against the husbands. That is the real danger is your wife who wants to leave you or now is your ex-wife would falsely accuse you of child abuse and wife abuse and they can easily get away with it without at all any risk and they even get free lawyers and a lot of asssitance. That is the real risk from women you already know not strangers because they are envy, jelous, angry, hateful, betray you, revenge you and for their personal and materialistic gains.
This is unbelievable! From 2000-2003, I repeatedly called Va. Dept. Social Services because by brother-in-law and girlfriend were using/selling crack and marijuana from their apartment. Their children were severely neglected. Nothing was ever done. I was told that for all they knew, I was someone with a grudge. We finally convinced her to live with us and the children so she could try and straighten up. Her children were almost 4 and 2. Neither one was potty trained. Neither one could talk. Neither one knew how to hold a fork. Both would shove food in their mouthes with their hands every time they ate until they threw up because they didn’t know when they would eat next. Both were “nocturnal.” She went to prison a year later for charges the state had accumulated 2 years earlier. These things take time apparently. One month after she moved out of my house, someone from DSS left a business card in my mailbox. I called them to let them know that while she had lived with us previously, she was no longer. I was spoken to in a reprimanding voice, “Well, her food stamps have expired and her children need to eat. I spent valuable time driving to your house.” I didn’t know what to say.
After she got out of prison (3 years), she was returned her children, immediately. No adjustment period. No seeing if she would stay clean. No waiting for her to get a job. Their father still uses and has regular involvement with her and the children.
Yeah, makes perfect sense to focus energy on fathers who are positively involved in their children’s lives.
This goes to show you where the sickness in our society lies. Too many people with disturbed minds reach postions of public prominence and procede to destroy all that is good in our lives.
Matt S, people who stick up for their children are not part of the problem. You might want to stay clear of me too. I have been raising my son for 13 years without any help from the government or his mother. Now some jackass is going to call me a pedophile because I care enough to hold his hand!?!?!? I guess your type would really go nuts if you knew I changed his diapers.
this is rediculous, what is one to do, if a child is a hyperactive, or a child that has to inspect everything, ?
If a father or a mother have that child out in public, I would think they would have enough sense to hang onto
that child’s hand so it does not run out into traffic, ram page thru a store, (which I have seen ) or have some
stranger kidnap said child.
my husband always held the hand of our little ones, we had 4 of them, I held the hands of two of them and he
took the other two.
My 2 sons have done the same thing with their children.
People are too anxious to jump the gun so to say, while others stand back and let the worse happen.
It is a catch twenty-two these days. but gee, watch that child, see if it looks like it is scared, or maybe just upset
because that parent is using a little discipline.
nuf said
Okay listen to me. Do you really want to do something about this? If so, the answer is very easy. Start calling! That’s right, start calling the Virgina Hotline and Virgina 911 WHENEVER YOU SEE A MAN WITH A CHILD! Flood their phone systems, bring them down with your calls. If this is what they want - GIVE IT TO THEM IN SPADES.
Let them know that you are only following their instructions. CALL, CALL, CALL!
What\’s a web surfer to do? I was going along, searching for some info on Infant Car Seats, and saw a link here. You can bet I\’ll be bookmarking this site TODAY (Friday). Great post!
I wonder if people are aware that their are pedophiles who think it is perfectly normal to kiss, hug and cuddle the child of a perfect stranger. They believe it is their RIGHT, and the childs right to engage in sexual acts. iN OTHER WORDS, THEY BELIEVE IT IS THEIR RIGHT TO MOLEST YOUR CHILD. They are actually pressing for pedophilia to be seen as a sexual preference, like being heterosexual or homosexual. They publish and circulate pamphlets on how to seduce and molest children. They say that wanting to cuddle, kiss, and have sex with a child is perfectly normal, and benificial to a child. They feel that they are victims of a society who tries to oppress them, and feel they should have free reign to do whatever they want with our kids. They openly express views and trade photos, stories and tips on the internet. I say if you do suspect anything overtly sexual–REPORT IT. Don’t hesitate. Also, if you know anyone who makes a lot of comments about you childs body, favorably or unfavorably—watch him like a HAWK. I have a neighbor who made comments about my 2 year olds body, and expressed how much he would like to see her when she is 16 or 17. He has also expressed to me about how he watches porn on his computer. He also offered to babysit my daughter, and attempted to button her pants for her when they came undone. I let him have it at that point and now I would just as soon assault him as look at him. It’s things like that, that seem innocent, but their is an underlying wierdness. Trust your instincts.
Its not a sick world we live. This stuff is just in America. The rest of the world is getting along fine. Providing the Americans stay away.
That’s not really a surprise in the United-Morons of America.
Extremist hypocrisy has been going on for centuries. The Holy Church forbade men and women to touch outside of marriage, and now we learn that the priests were abusing children. How many bible-thumping pastors have condemned homosexuality, only to be outed themselves?
Investigate these child sexploitation experts who want to criminalize hand holding, and chances are high you’ll find that they too are leading double lives. How do I know that? Because sane, decent people would never advocate such outrageous notions!
To Becky Odor,
Please, please stop this campaign before it does irreparable damage to innocent men in Virginia!
I agree that stopping child abuse is important, and that we must do all we can to prevent it, but this campaign is seeking to employ a damaged tool (a suspicious public) to fix a complicated problem. The American population (in fact, *any* population) is simply unskilled in the cognitive tools necessary to, *at a glance* determine the difference between a healthy non-sexual relationship between father and daughter, and a sexual one. Therapists and psychologists and family care workers would not be so brazen as to presume that for all their training, they could identify a child molester on sight. You are asking the the Virginian population to perform an impossible task, and many well-intentioned people will act on your suggestion and do what they believe to be their civic duty, and will start a chain of events that will tar many innocent father’s reputations.
If the skilled professionals do not claim they can accurately spot a child-molester on sight, then do not demand that average people, or even city and state police can. This campaign *will* do much more damage than it will prevent, and will go down in history as a bad idea.
Please, please, stop this now, before lasting harm is done.
What bothers me most about this whole campaign isn’t merely the demonization of natural familial affection and the generation of yet more paranoid witch-hunters; but the fact that the supposed masses of predatory male paedophiles are not an evil afflicting our culture, but merely a symptom of a much deeper problem. In many modern developed-world cultures — particularly western-European, American, and Japanese societies — children are highly sexualized. Look at the advertising and entertainment media.
A huge percentage of fashion models are teens, often early-teens, whose careers end when they start developing more adult features. Childrens’ fashions are frequently merely copies of adult fashions, often including the more risque styles. Children are forced into sexually suggestive situations in adverts, sitcoms, music videos, and so on. “Paedophile chic” has a strong hold on the pop music industry, as exemplified by performers such as Brittney Spears and Christina Augilera. Big-name fashion designer Calvin Klein has spent the better part of two and a half decades incorporating sexually-charged images of adolescent or adolescent-appearing models, and suggestive images of pre-adolescents.
These cultures are exceedingly obssessed with youth, with looking and acting younger, with strongly-promoted standards of beauty and sexual desirability based in adolesence instead of fully-developed adulthood. Yet at the same time, are obsessed with the predatory paedophile/hebephile bogeyman. It’s cultural schizophrenia.
If there is an increase in child sexual abuse, which I’m not yet convinced of, its not some lurking evil from outside infecting our culture; but are merely a reaction to current cultural trends, and will continue as long as those trends continue.
What also bothers me is the intense focus on male child abusers, and the implication that female child abusers are non-existent
What bothers me as well is the focus on male child sexual abusers, and the implication that female abusers are non-existent. There is strong evidence to indicate that the incidence of sexual abuse by female perpetrators is drastically underreported, far more so than abuse involving male perpetrators. Some estimate that as much as 95% of sexual abuse by females goes unreported due to cultural biases and preconceptions.
http://www.canadiancrc.com/female_sexual_predators_awareness.htm
http://www.canadiancrc.com/articles/MovingF_Female_perpetrators_Child_sexual_abuse_JUL94.htm
http://www.kalimunro.com/article_sexual_abuse_by_mothers.html
http://www.kalimunro.com/article_mother_son_sexual_abuse.html
Add to that that the campaign’s claim that 88% of sexual abuse (with the unspoken implication that the abuser is male) goes unreported is specious. There are no solid figures available, and estimates by researchers typically range between 8% and 71%; with a few studies indicating that estimates of unreported abuse may be severly overinflated.
This is one of the most disgusting examples of a prevalent view in our society today: Any amount of damage to innocent people is justified if it catches one guilty person.
Yeah,OK,try this senario on…… Parent falsely convicted and sent to prison for being a “CHIMO”! Children land in foster care and actually do get sexually abused there, and also physically abused, as well as exploited by the foster parents, as well as their older children!!!So……..If the kid isn’t truely being abused at home (And, if it’s left up to the system)they soon will be when placed in an abusive foster home where they can receive a daily regimen of it!!!And it’s no wonder there are sooooo many people today who don’t trust in the system to deliver justice to the innocent.Nowadays,If you don’t have money,you DO NOT get justice,and you are now guilty until proven innocent!!! Ms.Oder,as for you and your arrogant ideas,IT STINKS just like your name!!!!!!!!!!!And people like you need to be locked up real tight in the looney bin, and the only key should be destroyed!!!!!!!!!There is enough misery in this world these days,without your type of disqustingly arrogant perverted based opinions that do nothing more than hurt innocent people and tear beautiful families apart!You must be the real perverted one, as you must be getting a BIG hard-on by hurting innocent people and tearing apart families, and raping chilren of their families!!! Do us all a favor,until you know what you are talking about-SHUT THE HECK UP AND GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OPINIONS LIKE YOURS ARE SICK!!!!!!!!!AND,I bet you don’t even have any children,so what do you know anyway?
Anyone see the Stopitnow.org website? It has everything that is good and bad about current efforts to protect children from abuse. See the “Warning Signs”. It’s a mixed bag that can be easily taken out of context, with good elements and horrific elements. I can see how the desire to protect children and provide information by this group could lead to an ad campaign that would attack fatherhood implicitly. In writing and in advocacy of a position, an organization is not only responsible for their main message, but all implied messages. That ad was a bad ad, and should have been pulled the moment that its implicit message was identified.
it seems as if all real mothers out there are offended by this ad claiming their husbands are abusers.
let me guess, Ms. Odor doesnt even have any children?
I guess I must be a really horrible abuser- I hold my kid’s hands, I pick them up and carry them around on my hip, I tickle and wrestle with them. I’ve even been known to swat a bottom or three when they get out of hand!
Quick, someone, call the cops! I must be abusing my children BY BEING A LOVING, RESPONSIBLE PARENT!!!
Gosh in order to be fair we should put billborads of women pressing a child’s face up to their breasts. Or better still have one where the woman does the thing where you carry your kid with the control, having your hand around ‘his’ ( not as noteworthy if its a giel child…for women)leg.
This is the reason why men cross the roads when they see a ruddy kindergarden or school.
Why they try to avoid eye contact with children.
Whether they be young or elderly, they are afraid. Today’s men are being demonized by media etcera etcetera.
While it’s absolutely brilliant to see women, children or people abused as children speaking out, there is a culture of fear in today’s society. Paranoia, terrorism etc.
This is truly sad.
Too much nannying from the govt these days. Telling us how we should run our lives.
On the other hand, there are people who just aren’t fit to be parents or whatever.
What are we to do?
This can happen. It happen to my son. He has been convicted of molesting his daughter. This sounds obsurd but it is true. How can we stop this from happening to more of our young men accused of molestation by a former ex to stop them from getting custody.
What is the first step people need to know to prevent this from happening to you. there were no witnesses in his trial, no evidence, and they made false characters up, and said he wore a dress and lipstick. I hope you are hearing this. This can happen to you!!! it happened to my son and we need to stop it now before more innocent men are forced to go to prison for 3 1/2 to 10yrs for trying to get custody of their own children from an ex with an axe to grind.
He has a another daughter that he has not seen because when she found out that he was moving on with his life she filed charges again him to prevent him from haveing any custody whatsoever. If you have no money for a lawyer or if your lawyer has no idea on how to move on with a molestation case your ass is grass.
I know this is wrong and if people are not informed this will continue because girls now that they can do this to any man.
Darlene Kane
THEY ARE JUST STUPID. WHO INITIATED THAT SHOULD BE LEFT LYING IN THE DESERT TO SEE IF THEIR INTUITION WOULD LEAD THEM TO WATER..
ON WHAT SCIENTIFIC FACTS DO THEY BASE THEIR INTUITION. INTUITION IS ONLY BASED ON EXPERIENCE….
Um, they can’t show a picture of a dad with his hand in his daughter’s pants, now can they?
They’re not saying anyone who holds their kid’s hand is a molester, they’re saying don’t just bury your head in the sand if you hear or see something weird. That’s not a bad message, it’s a message more people need to hear. More often than not people go about their business and ignore alarm bells that something is wrong.
Stop fear-mongering.
WOW, DO I REALLY LIVE IN A TIME WHEN THERE ARE THAT MANY FXCKXD UP PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE TO BE AGAINST ALL MEN. WHAT A VERY SAD WORLD WE EXIST IN.WHAT ARE WE TEACHING THE CHILDREN FOR THE FUTURE. HOW SAD IT MUST BE TO BE BORN A MALE IN THE FUTURE KNOWING YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HOLD YOUR CHILD’S HAND OR POSS KISS THEM WHEN THEY FALL OVER OR DO WELL.THE MAKERS OF THESE RULES ARE THE ONES WHO NEED OUR HELP THE MOST, AS THEY ARE SO FAR OUT OF REALITY THAT THEY ARE BLINDED TO THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AROUND THEM. SAD NARROW MINDED PARASITES THAT WANT TO DESTROY THE MEANING OF TRUE LOVE AND CARE. MAYBE THESE PEOPLE NEVER HAD PARENTAL LOVE THEMSELVES?
[…] is old, but how about this Virginia campaign calling on people to report adult males holding hands with female children - we can’t have parents holding their childrens’ hands in this country!!! If dad goes […]
lol i can’t believe that somebody even but this up no matter wat. dad will always hold there kids hand intill the world ends. this thing will never stop a father holding there kids hand ,it there kid so they cant do nuting. oorah!
This is not new. Comrade Odor is just another in the line of good party members who support spying/whispering and reporting campaigns by neighbors upon neighbor and children upon their parents in the interest of “safety,” State interest, and party/value loyalty. Stalin perfected this - children reporting on their “enemy” parents, and citizens on their neighbors - but what fades for a time comes around again. Ms. Odor is just supporting the State’s “good will” efforts to protect us from ourselves, keep us all “safe,” and completely invade our rights and freedom as individuals.
She should be taken out and horsewhipped (and that is a euphemism).
this is totaly stupid!
Peter Foyle that is the sickest and most f***ed up thing to say!
this is a serious issue that is completly inreasonable, and saying that is just pouring salt in the wounds.
its not right! if u think something that sick and twisted KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! sone of us want to know what u do in your spare time!
i dont agree with the campaign AT ALL. im not a parent or anything but i have 2 toddler half siblings and i know for a fact that their father plays a major role in their life. they throw fits everytime he leaves for work or goes to the store, even just to use the bathroom!
i personally dont really get along with him but if ANYONE said that by holding my sisters hand or my brothers that hes abusing them i would beat the S**T out of who ever that person is.
the health department must be smoking some pretty serious stuff to come up with a campaign like this…really i think it needs to change like NOW!
its seriosly messed up.
My husband was accused of child abuse by his vindictive ex-wife. In order to please the mother, with whom the child wanted to live because after 5 years of living with the father thought the mother actually wanted her back, lied to the police and essentially perjured herself. He was found guilty. The only thing he did was discipline her for talking on her cell phone instead of doing her homework. She was 9 at the time.
Now my husband doesn’t even see her out of fear of what she could accuse him of next. He hasn’t seen her in almost 2 years just so he can protect the rest of his family.
[…] of some of the malice masquerading as laws for our protection. In concert with these absurdities, things like this are becoming ubiquitous along with things like this. You read about a six year old boy who was arrested for kissing a […]
i hate the words “sexual abuse” because seriously, fathers cant even take their kids to the park and play with them without other people thinking they are “sex offenders”
saddens me.
you have got to be out of your mind. I have two daughters and my husband has always held their hand including and not limited to in the dentist office. This is obsurd and has no morals or values attatched to it. How can you take something a father does and twist it into something so bad. You people are sick to believe that there is something wrong with a father holding their daughters hands. Hello what about when they get married and the father walks them down the isle is that sexual predator type things too? What the heck has this world come to? Maybe if we had more fathers holding their daughters hands we would have less children being hurt by strangers that they do not know.
This is a rediculous article and whoever came up with the notion that a father holding a childs hand is a sexual predator is a freak themselves and maybe we should lock them up. Totally appaling with no morals and values. I dare someone to try to arrest my husband for holding my daughters hand. What about the single fathers in our world that are raising their daughters by themselves are they not to hold their daughters hands when they are in public somewhere but yet let them be free to run around and be snatched by someone.. Give me a break. Talking about stereotyping people this makes me sick …
Seriously people whoever came up with this is sick themselves and needs help. Leave us alone and let fathers be fathers for crying out loud. If we had more of them around in their childs lives we wouldnt have to worry about this crap
Is this what Hillary Clinton meant when she said it takes a village to raise kids? It’s important for all parents to make their children feel loved and secure and explain the difference between loving touch and inappropriate touching. That’s something only intelligent people would know, these crazy adults who came up with this obviously aren’t intelligent enough to understand the difference themselves so couldn’t possibly teach any child valuable lessons. I’m embarrassed for them, this ad is truly laughable. Some advice for parents: I’ll hold my son’s hand anytime I want or when I deem necessary and I suggest other parents continue the same, especially when it’s for safety reasons. This ad really isn’t worthy of intelligent discussion, is it? They must be bored and don’t have anything better to do!
Suzanne
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