In spite of the fact that the new immigration bill has been moved off of the fast-track as it meanders its way through Congress, other special interest groups have seized the moment to press their respective cases.jersey-guy.jpg 

Foremost among these is the Jersey City-based organization Homebound Italian-American Males for Justice which, according to their charter, ”advocates for the rights of our members to live at home with their parents until death, (God forbid) or the settlement from the insurance company over that car accident, do they part.”

“It’s very simple,” said HIAMJ spokesman Anthony “The Trix Rabbit” DeCavalcante. “If those Mexican peishaleeks are gonna get special treatment, then so should real Americans. We are merely asking for what is coming to us. As the original hyphenated Americans, we feel that we deserve better. The IROC-Z Visa that we are proposing is a great start.”

The IROC-Z Visa would provide the following for its holder:

  • Forgiveness for back rent owed.
  • Clothes washed and folded on a regular basis.
  • No busting balls about getting a “real job.” Enough already.
  • In the event that the visa-holder decides to get married, he will receive assurances that his new wife’s gravy will be thick, delicious, and a little bit tangy; just like mama’s.
  • Amnesty for any ass-kickings delivered prior to the issuance of said visa.

In a related story, Senate members have been pushing for a ZZZZZ-Visa which would serve to severely limit the time that Senator Robert Byrd is allowed to speak on the floor.

Buckley F. Williams is the Senior Editor of The Nose On Your Face which offers “news so fake you’ll swear it came from the mainstream media.”

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