A series of recent expeditions led by scientists from the SPD (social-something party in Germany) has revealed a previously unknown species of native Unterschicht (underclass) in the large Central European region between France and Poland sometimes referred to as “Deutschland”. This mysterious new species, yet to be named, has been characterized by the scientists as being “poorly educated, very simple, having little professional mobility or drive to climb up the social ladder”.

Although this new genus appears to be scattered throughout the entire “Deutschland” region, a much higher number of them were found in the biosphere’s eastern area; 20 percent of the overall population as compared to just 4 percent in the western area.

Many of the scientists were surprised that the species could have remained undiscovered for so long. Others were surprised that these simple creatures could have survived at all for as long as they have, considering the lengthy period of soziale Kälte (social cold) that has been holding “Deutschland” in its grip ever since being introduced as the result of mad experiments performed by a fellow SPD scientist called Gerhard Schröder.

The species’ numbers are quickly growing, however. And this has clearly alarmed the SPD scientific community as, in an ironic parallel, their numbers are decreasing dramatically.

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