So like three or four minutes after his inauguration, French President Nicolas Sarkozy jumps on a plane and flies to Berlin. I mean, aren’t you supposed to savor the bouquet of the flavor or something once you become the big Kahuna? Oops, I mean le Kahuna le plus grand? 

This Blitzbesuch (Blitz as in lightning as in lightning-fast as in Blitzkrieg and Besuch as in visit) is not only his first foreign visit as Président de la République, it’s his first damned visit anywhere as such, unless maybe you count the trip to the bathroom he may or may not have taken after the ceremonies were over in Paris. And I doubt if this guy took the time to pay a visit there, the way he fidgets around all over the place like he does all the time.

And so like then he arrives here in Berlin and starts talking about “paralysis” (the European Union kind) and “urgency” (the Airbus kind) and starts saying stuff like “I did not want just to make a symbolic gesture; I wanted to express my wish that we get to work straight away,” and then he gets all up in Angie’s face and starts shaking her by the shoulders and messing up her hair, continually repeating “It is urgent to act! It is urgent to act!”

And you can like totally see that Angie’s head is clearly spinning here with all of this tempo and vitesse talk and stuff going on all around her. Germans are a lot of things, but “being in a hurry” isn’t one of them.

So could it be that this guy really means business? Could he be some kind of a new Napoleon or something who might actually be able to move Europe in the right (as in proper) direction? Could he even be somebody who might be open to a more pragmatic, perhaps even benevolent view vis-à-vis the United States?

Nah. But he’ll be fun to watch until his battery runs out.

Pour moi, je n’ai qu’un besoin, celui de réussir.

PS: And he didn’t even kiss around on her all that much, either.

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