http://www.bloggernews.net/1540 High-quality English language analysis and editorial writing on the news. Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:16:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-581510 denys Wed, 10 Sep 2008 04:31:47 +0000 http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-581510 My husband and I adopted 4 children 8 years ago and our home is no longer a house. These children have stolen, lied,hurt others, gotten pregnant, sent porno over the phone. And this is just a little of it. I am ill and the constant frustration of the last 2 at home is just about to kil me. I don't know what to do and I don't know where to go to for help. I have all of the therapists ( who tell you to be patient, calm, and understanding) when if these children had been my Mothers they would not be setting down for a long time. This is how my siblings and I were raised and none of us ended up in JAIL, but now a days the law has taken the control out of parenting and if you so much as smack your kid to get his/her attention, they call the police and bingo Dad or Mom go to jail for "child abuse". We need to know what we can do to unadopt these kids before one of us is dead. HELP !!!!! My husband and I adopted 4 children 8 years ago and our home is no longer a house. These children have stolen, lied,hurt others, gotten pregnant, sent porno over the phone. And this is just a little of it. I am ill and the constant frustration of the last 2 at home is just about to kil me. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to go to for help. I have all of the therapists ( who tell you to be patient, calm, and understanding) when if these children had been my Mothers they would not be setting down for a long time. This is how my siblings and I were raised and none of us ended up in JAIL, but now a days the law has taken the control out of parenting and if you so much as smack your kid to get his/her attention, they call the police and bingo Dad or Mom go to jail for “child abuse”. We need to know what we can do to unadopt these kids before one of us is dead. HELP !!!!!

]]> http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-271811 sarahw Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:46:14 +0000 http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-271811 can you have your own children who were adopted out or about to be adopted out unadopted when something is revealed about the prospective adoptive parents: that they have been involved in criminal activity and may be prosecuted? can you have your own children who were adopted out or about to be adopted out unadopted when something is revealed about the prospective adoptive parents: that they have been involved in criminal activity and may be prosecuted?

]]> http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-93613 anon Wed, 26 Sep 2007 01:34:32 +0000 http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-93613 I would love to be unadopted and wish it was easy. My adoptive parents are/were abusive. Adopted children and adoptive parents are both being failed. I would love to be unadopted and wish it was easy. My adoptive parents are/were abusive. Adopted children and adoptive parents are both being failed.

]]> http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-42259 coleen Mon, 18 Jun 2007 18:02:12 +0000 http://www.bloggernews.net/1540#comment-42259 I read this about the woman who wanted to unadopt her son. There is nothing worse than living with a child who's mind is set on sexually abusing others. The living as is known with meaningful relationships is pretty much over. There is very little available counseling that even begins to work on sexuall issues like this with children. The child can admit they have sexaully abused smaller children and then after a time at the Therapist office, several different Therapist and Treatment centers, they say they just don't have thoughts like that anymore, and by doing so really refuse to get the help they need. We know of a boy at 11 who constantly has thoughts everywhere he goes of molesting boys, he cannot go to the rest room anywhere by himself. He says he is driven to watch boys urinating. He wants a chance to touch them. He has to use the teachers restroom at school, when it is open and then locked by the teacher after. He cannot go on any activities with out one of his parents there with him all the time. Children coming to visit in his home he has to be isolated from. Grandchildren cannot come to the home. All the therapist he has seen, say he is not a harm to others, and yet he has molested younger children. He lied to them about it and they believe him in his sweetness of little angelic face. Yet he openly tells how and when it did it with others. Those Therapist he has told the truth to say, he does not seem interested in doing it again, yet he tells his parents and siblings that he thinks of if all the time. His parents are foster parents also and this is their mission in life, it is who they are, to be foster parents to children in desperate need of a home. There are few are this way. Well they cannot do foster care. When others look at that with lack of understanding it is horrible. It would be like saying you can not do your job, any work that you may see as your calling in life, because your son may molest children there. So to say they put foster care ahead of a adopted son is horrible. A missionary who had a son like this would fear doing his job on the mission field because his son may molest while there. Oh I understand that he may have to change is job, and if he is doing this knowing that if he ever turns his back this boy my molest anyway. There is no hope in that. If it were a biological son, the same fear and hurt applies. So who can be that hypervigilant? that they never ever have a minute where this boy is alone to molest again. This boy has shut down the family from any form of relationships that were healthy and needed. These grandchildren need their grand parents as a part of their lives. This boy, has continue to make the wrong choice, giving all the available tools to turn this around and does not care, he says he will molest if given the chance. Well the majority of people judge and will not understand and will condemn, but think of this, at least these parents tried to take in and help those who no one else wanted. These very people who judge them now for not being able to function and have a life, now because of their adopted son, would not have taken a child in the first place, at least most of them, and this is I know for a fact. Yet they judge those who try so hard and their last effort was to not fail at this. It just did not work. Why should this woman be punished for her heart that was so big, and she now has to live with the wrenching heartache that her adopted son molest and destroyed lives of others and will continue to. Where is the help that is really needed for this woman? Jeffery Dohmer, was a quiet shy boy, and yet his thoughts consumed him and his life eventually took him out, the damage done is unbelievable. One DHS person told this family we know that their son was like this man, yet others just cannot believe that is true of a child. they don't want it to be truth, but what if? Just what if? Who is responsible then . Why should anyone face shame from the painful place in their hearts where they tried? No one know if all that is done will ever change this boy especially with a sexaully addiction, they mostly just will not get better. I read the statistics say they have a better change when they are so young, and yet show me the statistics of those who have, and where they went to get this help. Really be honest someone and see what the statistics really say. This family if they have to keep this son, may suffer law suits and huge family losses for years to come. They love this boy, but lose every other child in their life that they love too. Why is our government who is so intent on good, not taking in consideration the future for all the people involved here? Why do we not have the treatment that will truly make a difference, and the care for children who will sexually abuse and kill? This family has already had the heartbreak of a child they had hoped for a better future for by adopting him. Their dreams for him were replaced with horror as other children have been hurt so deeply and the cycle goes on. Where is the help that is needed? Anyone? I read this about the woman who wanted to unadopt her son. There is nothing worse than living with a child who’s mind is set on sexually abusing others. The living as is known with meaningful relationships is pretty much over. There is very little available counseling that even begins to work on sexuall issues like this with children. The child can admit they have sexaully abused smaller children and then after a time at the Therapist office, several different Therapist and Treatment centers, they say they just don’t have thoughts like that anymore, and by doing so really refuse to get the help they need. We know of a boy at 11 who constantly has thoughts everywhere he goes of molesting boys, he cannot go to the rest room anywhere by himself. He says he is driven to watch boys urinating. He wants a chance to touch them. He has to use the teachers restroom at school, when it is open and then locked by the teacher after. He cannot go on any activities with out one of his parents there with him all the time. Children coming to visit in his home he has to be isolated from. Grandchildren cannot come to the home. All the therapist he has seen, say he is not a harm to others, and yet he has molested younger children. He lied to them about it and they believe him in his sweetness of little angelic face. Yet he openly tells how and when it did it with others. Those Therapist he has told the truth to say, he does not seem interested in doing it again, yet he tells his parents and siblings that he thinks of if all the time. His parents are foster parents also and this is their mission in life, it is who they are, to be foster parents to children in desperate need of a home. There are few are this way. Well they cannot do foster care. When others look at that with lack of understanding it is horrible. It would be like saying you can not do your job, any work that you may see as your calling in life, because your son may molest children there. So to say they put foster care ahead of a adopted son is horrible. A missionary who had a son like this would fear doing his job on the mission field because his son may molest while there. Oh I understand that he may have to change is job, and if he is doing this knowing that if he ever turns his back this boy my molest anyway. There is no hope in that. If it were a biological son, the same fear and hurt applies. So who can be that hypervigilant? that they never ever have a minute where this boy is alone to molest again. This boy has shut down the family from any form of relationships that were healthy and needed. These grandchildren need their grand parents as a part of their lives. This boy, has continue to make the wrong choice, giving all the available tools to turn this around and does not care, he says he will molest if given the chance. Well the majority of people judge and will not understand and will condemn, but think of this, at least these parents tried to take in and help those who no one else wanted. These very people who judge them now for not being able to function and have a life, now because of their adopted son, would not have taken a child in the first place, at least most of them, and this is I know for a fact. Yet they judge those who try so hard and their last effort was to not fail at this. It just did not work. Why should this woman be punished for her heart that was so big, and she now has to live with the wrenching heartache that her adopted son molest and destroyed lives of others and will continue to. Where is the help that is really needed for this woman? Jeffery Dohmer, was a quiet shy boy, and yet his thoughts consumed him and his life eventually took him out, the damage done is unbelievable. One DHS person told this family we know that their son was like this man, yet others just cannot believe that is true of a child.
they don’t want it to be truth, but what if? Just what if? Who is responsible then . Why should anyone face shame from the painful place in their hearts where they tried? No one know if all that is done will ever change this boy especially with a sexaully addiction, they mostly just will not get better. I read the statistics say they have a better change when they are so young, and yet show me the statistics of those who have, and where they went to get this help. Really be honest someone and see what the statistics really say. This family if they have to keep this son, may suffer law suits and huge family losses for years to come. They love this boy, but lose every other child in their life that they love too. Why is our government who is so intent on good, not taking in consideration the future for all the people involved here? Why do we not have the treatment that will truly make a difference, and the care for children who will sexually abuse and kill? This family has already had the heartbreak of a child they had hoped for a better future for by adopting him. Their dreams for him were replaced with horror as other children have been hurt so deeply and the cycle goes on. Where is the help that is needed? Anyone?

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