In an effort to keep up with the news that you most likely won’t see major press coverage about, I have decided to begin a daily (as daily as I can possibly keep it) update of stories that will remind you to keep things perspective, because after all… at least you’re not them.

Two men from the northeastern province of Heilongjiang in China were rescued and then promptly arrested. The two men were caught stealing cable wire from a mine in Hada village, Xinhua. The two geniuses then decided that their best bet would be to hide in a 5,000 foot shaft until the cops had given up their search. Unfortunately they were not (or perhaps they were) aware that the shaft was filled with carbon monoxide gas. For 23 hours, the police waited at the entrance to the mine for the two thieves to emerge and occasionally shouted into the shaft with loudspeakers and sent in search parties. Finally after 23 hours, the police heard a very faint cry for help at which point police entered and pulled the two men out. Other than trouble breathing and walking, the two men were ok and were treated at a local hospital before they were arrested for stealing the electric cable worth about $60,000.

Just around the corner from these two would be thieves is another thief in the small prefecture of Gunma located just north of Tokyo. The police had been called to the scene in order to investigate the reports that a stolen car had been used in a post office and in a country where car theft is almost unheard of, the police left their car turned and idling in the parking lot. Soon after a man came outside the post office and proceeded to steal the police car before driving it home. The man was apprehended in his home about 2.5 miles away from the post office. Upon arrest, he told police that he stole the car because he was ‘too tired to walk’.

Finally, we head south of Japan to the island continent of Australia where police are investigating reports that corpses that have been donated to the University of New South Wales in Sydney had been abused sexually. According to a report filed in the Sydney Morning Herald, documents from the university show that one member fondled the breasts and vaginas of bodies and also used the head of one corpse in a degrading way. No details were given (thankfully) about what degrading way the head was used.

The report also detailed that body parts had been placed in incorrect coffins and that other coffins were stuffed with body parts from multiple bodies. The school lost its license to conduct anatomy classes last November because of improper labeling and storage of human remains.

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