As all of us involved in Scientology know, our church opened up a wonderfully spacious new center in Berlin yesterday. About 1,000 guests were present at the dedication ceremony held inside the huge, six-story building in Charlottenburg, among them Hollywood actress and fellow scientologist Anne Archer as well as numerous spies and informants working for the German Office for the Protection of the Constitution whom we will eventually identify, track down and “dead agent”.

As you also know, way back 75 million years ago when Xenu was the alien ruler of the Galactic Confederacy and he brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling DC-8s and stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs to release these alien souls which still cause ill-effects on humans to this very day, things were a lot more clear-cut. Ha, ha. “Clear”, get it?

But body thetans are body thetans and we and our auditors (and their E-meters) simply have no other choice but to continue clearing ourselves of the engrams these body thetans have implanted in us in order to reach the final clear state and then advance up through the various levels of the operating thetan.

So stay dianetic, people, and you will eventually be able to function at his or her full potential (whoever they are) and we will roll over anybody who dares to get in our way, know what I’m sayin’?

And never forget, dear friends: “The only way you can control people is to lie to them. You can write that down in your book in great big letters. The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them.” — L. Ron Hubbard.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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