Supposedly, there are over one million German youngsters among us (and them) who are now showing signs of being “addicted” to the Internet. “They look like the wandering dead,” says one Berliner psychologist, or at least “very weird”.

“Especially when they wear those dorky glasses like that,” said some other guy who knows absolutely nothing about psychology or the wandering dead or much of anything else.

Some particularly hysterical and over-worried social worker types claim that these kids spend up to 15 hours a day in the Internet and don’t even get enough to eat or drink. And what is worse, like most other kids their age, non-zombie types or not, they don’t wash themselves enough, either.

However these same authorities are very puzzled by the fact that these kids seem to be the very same zombies who used to be incurably hooked to TV a few years back. Clearly, some eerie, spontaneous and miraculous cure must have taken place in the meantime.

More skeptical experts and other annoying clear headed types are still willing to argue over whether “Internet addiction” can actually be classified as being a real addiction or not, but jeez, who wants to wait for them?

Umm, by the way, where are the German zombie parents who only need to occasionally shut their kid’s computers down? Oh yeah, I forgot. They’re too busy watching reality TV to get involved.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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