As if Angela Merkel didn’t have enough to worry about these days, what with Germany taking over the presidencies of both the EU and the G8 next week, rock-celebrity-pro-Africa-anti-Aids-activists Bono and Bob (Geldof) are now openly stalking the German Chancellor and threatening to give her a hug.

If she doesn’t comply with their wishes, that is. And erst recht (for sure) if she does.

In an attempt to placate the over-affectionate-and-hill do-gooders, and shuddering at the mere recollection of a much-photographed hug the poorly-shaven Bono gave her during the Davos world economic summit last January, Merkel has belatedly expanded her G8 agenda to include priorities on African good governance, investment and anti-Aids work. She is also now carrying a large can of pepper spray in her purse.

Bono and Bob, notorious hug-Wüstlinge (debauchees) and ruthless, guilt-exploiting Robin Hood types, have made no secret about their plans to bring their take-from-the-rich campaign to Germany once it assumes the chairmanship of the rich countries’ club. Data, their London-based campaign group, even plans to open an office in Berlin next month, where it will begin working with German film-makers and television companies to raise awareness for their campaign.

And as if all the hugging that followed those Live 8 concerts in 2005 (linked to the British G8 summit in Gleneagles) wasn’t enough, German intelligence reports indicate that Geldof is planning something called “intellectual aid” in Germany – a series of debates with German thinkers on African development and the role of the west.

A series of debates? With German thinkers? I’d rather get the hug than have to listen to that. No, come to think of it, I wouldn’t. But I would rather pepper spray myself.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…