That Germans are a little batty when it comes to their dogs is no secret. They even take their Köter (mutts) with them when they go on vacation or out to eat, for crying out loud. And although they often go out of their way to teach these dogs obedience, the owners themselves are quite the anarchists. You will rarely see a German dog owner pulling out a plastic doggy bag to take care of Fido’s you-know-what, for instance. And they hate using leashes, too. At least on their dogs, I mean.

But perhaps the most shocking dog revelation I’ve had yet came to me while watching a reality TV show here called “Top Dog” (you guessed it, I’ll watch anything). The purpose of the show, other than to depict reality, is to find the most talented and telegenic dog out there, and heaven knows there must be a lot of them. Or so I thought (not). You know, Star Search or Star Academy or whatever the hell they call it, only for K9s.

Well, this had to be the stupidest collection of piss hounds I’d ever seen in my entire life. And they weren’t terribly telegenic, either. The “contestants” were supposed to fetch a toy out of a swimming pool and paddle back out with it again, for instance, but that was eine Nummer zu hoch (a bit out of their league) for them. They were scared to get their fur wet or something, or hadn’t yet learned what fetch means. Pitiful.

And then to add insult to injury, the judges knuckled under and let the loser dogs (all except two) take part in the following week’s show anyway. I guess the ratings for a show like this are just that good. How disgusting. I’m going to have to tune in and see what happens next now. But only just one more time, I promise.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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